Monday, March 23, 2015

[Hindi Jokes] Quote, Shayaris, Jokes (23.03.15)

 


CHAK DE

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 हमारे महफिल में लोग बिन बुलाये आते हैl 

क्यूकी यहाँ स्वागत में ‪फूल‬ नहीं दिल‬ बिछाये जाते है..."😘😘

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The boss got out of a BMW 7 series and a junior employee remarked 
" wow Boss, thats Great"

The boss said "If U also work hard, be Punctual, 
put in more hours of work in the Weekends,
 take fewer Holidays,achieve your targets.. 

I will be able to buy an even better car next year" 😝😝😁😁😜😝😜😛

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मैं "पावर" ओर " पैसे " को नही......

 "स्वभाव" ओर "सम्बन्ध" ज्यादा जरुरी मानता हूं...!!!....😘🔝

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 बच्चों के साथ बहुत समझदारी से बात करनी चाहिए।
नहीं तो परिणाम घातक हो सकता है
उदाहरण -
एक बच्चा नल से गिरते हुए पानी को देखकर बोला,
पापा यह पानी कहां से आता है?
पापा: बेटा, नदी से।
बच्चा: पापा, मुझे नदी दिखाने ले चलो।
उसके पापा उसे नदी दिखाने ले गए, लेकिन बच्चे ने उन्हें
नदी मे गिरा दिया। फिर बच्चा दौड़कर घर गया, और
ममी से बोला, ममी, जल्दी से नल खोलो, 
पापा आ रहे होंगे। 😀😀

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अजीब दुनिया का दस्तुर हे …

दोलत चाहे कितनी भी बेइमानी से घर आये ,

पर उसकी पहेरेदारी के लिये ईमानदार शक्स चाहिये ॥🙏🙏🙏

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यह मंदिर भी क्या गज़ब की जगह है!

यहाँ गरीब बाहर भीख मांगते हैं, और अमीर अन्दर

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THIS IS CALLED TRUE LOVE : 

Tantrik : Beta tum par ek chudail ka saya hai 

Boy : Baba, main thappad maar dunga jo meri Biwi ke bare me kuch kaha toh…😡😝👌😄.😄😄😄😄😝😝😝😛

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दोस्ती की नन्ही सी परिभाषा :--

मैं शब्द हूँ तुम अर्थ

तुम बिन मैं व्यर्थ।

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दिमाग में विचारों का जितना कम ट्रैफिक होगा, 

जिंदगी का सफर उतना ही आसान होगा।'😊👍

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 👉 सिखाते है हम बेटियों को
क्योंकि कल उन्हें जाना है पराये घर 

क्यों नहीं सिखाते बेटों को 
कैसे अपनाना है किसी परायी को अपने घर !!

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[Hindi Jokes] SOME WONDERFUL DEFINITIONS (23.05.15)

 


CHAK DE

SOME WONDERFUL DEFINITIONS


CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other! 


MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master


LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either


CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present


COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece


TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!


DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage


CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on


ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before


cl-assIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read


SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!


OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life


YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth


ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do


COMMITTEE:
Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together


EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes


ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions


PHILOSOPHER:
A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead


DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip


OPPORTUNIST:
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river


OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"


PESSIMIST: 
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY


MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!


FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature


CRIMINAL:
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught


BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early


POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later 


DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills..!!

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Posted by: Mahesh Popat <mahesh_popat@ymail.com>
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Sunday, March 22, 2015

[Hindi Jokes] Jokes, Shayaris, Quote (22.03.15)

 


CHAK DE

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कुछ लोग तो इतने गरीब होते है, कि 

उनके पास सिर्फ पैसे ही होते है..!!

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Two new words hv been proposed to be included in oxford dictionary

1. Gumshuda- (n)- state of being physically lost.

2. Shadishuda (n)- state of being physically, mentally and financially lost 😜

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You will go mad laughing ....

A Tata Nano breaks down on a roadside.

A man in a BMW 750Li stops to help Nano driver.

"I will tow u to d next service station, but if I drive too fast please flash ur head-lights"

They start up slowly but only a km or so down d line a sporty Porsche car speeds past at 150km/hr.

BMW driver's ego hurt, 

He totally forgets about little Nano towed behind & races after the Porsche.

Just as all 3 of them fly & tear through a speed trap,

the traffic cop radios his HeadQuarters:

"Calling all stations :: u won't just believe this what I just saw a BMW & a Porsche racing past at about 195km/hr, with a Tata-Nano right behind & madly flashing its lights to Overtake them..😅😅😆😆😁😁
Good day!!

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आदमी को औरत की ताकत का अंदाजा उसी वक्त लगा लेना चाहिए, 

जब वो उसे लेने के लिए पूरी बारात लेकर जाता है 

और वो शेरनी उधर से अकेली चली आती है।😅😅😅

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वेसे तो मेरी कोई G.F नही है..

लेकिन जब शायरी लिखता हूँ

तो ऐसा लगता है जेसे 

5-6 छोड़कर चली गयी हो...😂😜

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आजकल सबसे ज़्यादा डर किससे लगता है ?

whatsapp में नये join होने वाले member से ....

सारे OLD message, video, audio repeat करता है और साथ में बोलता है 

जल्दी forward करो , मार्केट में नया है. 

अब उसको कौन समझाए कि नया तो भाई तू है.

 हम तो यहां पर PHD कर रहे हैं। 😜😂😝😉

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Call from bank to a Girl:_

Bank: hello madam you want credit card..

Girl: No thanks I have a boyfriend. 😂😜💸💰

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ले दे के अपने पास फ़क़त एक नज़र तो है...

क्यू देखे ज़िन्दगी को 'किसी' की नज़र से हम..!!

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मेरी हर आह को वाह मिली है यहाँ,,

कौन कहता है दर्द बिकता नहीं है..!!

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सिर्फ दिल का हक़दार बनाया था तुम्हें,,

हद हो गयी तुमने तो जान भी ले ली..!!❤❤

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भारत में लोग इतने टैलेंटेड होते है

के
.
.
.
.
.
.
गाड़ी हिला के बता देते है
गाड़ी में पेट्रोल कितना है

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__._,_.___
Posted by: Mahesh Popat <mahesh_popat@ymail.com>
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