Friday, April 30, 2010

[Hindi_Jokes] SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-61-62-63-64-65-66-67-68-69-70

 

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Santa- "Yaar, tune us daulatmand vidhva ko mohabbat ke jaal me kaise fasa liya?"

Banta- "Badi aasani se| Maine uske janamdin par

keval bees mombattiya jala di thi|"

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Eh haathi ne jindagi me pehli baar chooha dekha|

Haathi- "Tum kaun ho?"

Chooha- "Mai chooha hoon|"

Haathi- "Tumhari kya umra hai?"

Chooha- "Ek saal|"

Haathi- "Umra to meri bhi ek saal hai, lekin tum to bahut chote ho, yaar|"

Chooha- "Darahsal mai teen-chaar din se beemaar chal raha hoon|"

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Sadak ke beechobeech khadi ek mahila ne Traffic ke

sipahi se poocha- "Havaldaar saahab| Mai yaha

se aspataal kaise pahuch sakti hoon?"

Sipahi- "Jaha aap khadi hai| Thodi der aur khadi rahiye|"

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Ek yuvti ne apni saheli ko bataya- "Mahino tak mujhe pata hi na chala ki mere pati apni shaam kaha bitaate hai? Kal shaam jab mai ghar pahunchi to bhed khula, ve ghar me hi the|"

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SUHANI KE SUHANE HINDI JOKES-062

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Pati- "Mujhe door ki cheej saaf dikhai nahi deti|

Sochta hoon, chashma banva lu|"

Patni- "Bekaar paise nasht mat karo|"

Pati- "Kyo?"

Patni- "Isliye ki muhalle me mujhse sunder doosri

koi stree nahi hai|"

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Pati- "Darling, jara haluye ki ek plate aur dena|"

Patni- "To aapko mere haath ka haluaa bahut pasand aaya?"

Pati- "Nahi, yah baat nahi, darahsal mai usse apna

ek parcel chipkana chahta hoon|"

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Ek stree ne marte samay apne pati se kaha- "Pyaare, mai tumhe chodkar ja rahi hoon| Meri tumse bas ek hi praarthna hai|"

Pati pyaar se- "Bolo|"

Patni- "Meri bas ek hi praarthna hai ki yadi tum

doosri shaadi karo to us nayi dulhan ko mere kapde

aur joote pehanne ke liye mat dena|"

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Patni- "Are! Tum to bahut thake najar aa rahe ho| badhiya parathe, roshan josh aur upar se malai, kulphi khaaoge to tumhari thakaan choo-mantar ho jaayegi|"

Pati- "Lekin mujhme tumhe hotel le jaane jitni taakat

nehi hai| Aaj mai bahut thak gaya hoon|"

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Santa- "Meri patni ne motapa kam karne ke liye

kasrat shuru kar di hai|"

Banta- "Kya kuch faayda hua?"

Santa- "Haan, pharsh par gaddhe pad gaye hai|

Ek katta cement ka kharch badh gaya hai|"

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Seeta- "Mrs. Verma ko kaddu bahut priy hai|

Jab dekho unka naukar kaddu kharid kar le jaata hai|"

Geeta- "Magar ve kaddu khati nahi hai| Phir|"

Seeta- "Use ve baalo me rakhkar jooda banati hai|"

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Seeta- "Mujhe aisa pati chahiye, jo meri har baat maane| Matlab koi kaagaj mai uske saamne rakhu,

vo aankh moondkar us par dastakhat kar de|"

Geeta- "Phir to behna, tujhe pati nahi, raashtrapati chahiye|"

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Santa- "Mujhe afsos hai ki tum itne hate-kate

hone ke baad bhi langde ho|"

Banta- "Meri patni to chahti hai ki mai

andha bhi ho jau|"

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Yuvti- "Tum itne mote-taaje hokar bheekh kyo maang rahe ho?"

Yuvak- "Aap jaisi haseenao se baat karne ka yahi badhiya upaay hai, varna chedkhaani samajhkar pitai bhi to ho sakti hai|"

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Seeta- "Ms Sarla ke hontho par baar-baar makkhi

baith rahi thi| Vah badi pareshaan ho uthi|

Geeta- "Bekaar tang ho rahi ho| Makkhi apni aadat

se baaj nahi aane ki|"

Seeta- "Kyo?"

Geeta- "Iski harkat se pata chalta hai ki yah nar makkhi hai|"

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Santa- "Kal meri patni ki aankh me tinka pad gaya,

mai doctor ke paas le gaya, to usne tees rupaye kharch kar diye|"

Banta- "Chalo acha hua| Parso meri patni ki aankh me saadi pad gayi thi to mere paanch sau rupaye kharch ho gaye|"

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Doctor- "Tumhare dil ki dhadkan ki gati dhimi

pad chuki hai|"

Mareej- "Haan doctor saahab! Meri shaadi huye ek saal jo ho chuka hai|"

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Nurse prasannata se- "Badhai ho| Aapko judwa

ladke huye hai|"

Stree ghabra gayi- "Haay! Mai pati ko doosre

bache ke baare me kya jawaab doongi?"

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Bacha- "Pitaji swarg me shaadiya kyo nahi hoti?"

Pita- "Beta, shaadiya ho to phir vah swarg hi na rahega|"

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Ek paagalkhaane me ek darshak ko guide ne bataya-

"Yah jo aapko saamne paagal dikh raha hai na, uski

yah dasha isliye hui ki ise us ladki ne thukra

diya tha, jisse yah pyaar karta tha|"

Ek dusre paagal ke saamne jaakar vah bola- "Aur iski

yah dasha isliye hui ki isne us ladki se shaadi

kar li thi|"

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Premi- "Mere pitaji ne to tairne ka record tod

diya hai| Poore tees varsh baad laute hai|"

Premika- "Par darling! Tumhare pita mere pita ka

mukaabla nahi kar sakte|"

Premi- "Kyo?"

Premika- "Ve paitees saal pehle tairne gaye the aur

aaj tak vaapas nahi laute|"

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Pati daftar jaane ki taiyari me hai| Patni bhojan

banaane me lagi hai|

Pati- "Aji, mai kehta hoon ki khaana kab taiyaar hoga?"

Patni- "Do ghante se kah rahi hoon ki das minute me

taiyaar ho jaayega|"

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Graahak- "Tum to kah rahe the ki yah kameej bilkul uuni hai, par iske andar label par to 'Sooti maal' chapa hua hai?"

Dukandaar- "Yah label to keedo ko dhokha dene ke

liye lagaya gaya hai|"

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Doctor- "Ab mai tumhe kal dekhoonga|"

Mareej- "Aap to mujhe kal dekhenge, par mai bhi aapko kal dekh sakoonga ya nahi?"

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Maa- "Tum to bahut achi ladki ho| Jab bhi mai tumhare kamre me aati hoon to hamesha padhti hui milti ho|"

Beti- "Yah kamaal mera nahi|"

Maa- "To phir...|"

Beti- "Yah to aapki heel waale sandilo ka kamaal hai|"

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Santa ne dukandaar ke paas apne naukar ko bhejte huye likha- "Do kilo ghee de dena, yadi theek hua to cheque bhej doonga|"

Dukandaar ne uttar likha- "Pehle cheque bhej de,

theek hua to ghee bhej doonga|"

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Patni- "Suno ji, akhbaar me khabar hai ki ek vyakti

ne cycle ke badle me apni patni ko bech diya|"

Pati- "Mai us jaisa moorkh nahi hoon, car se kam

par baat nahi karoonga|"

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Ek bahut moti mahila ke saath-saath chala aa raha bacha pul dekhkar achanak ruk gaya|

Mahila ne pyaar se poocha- "Beta tum ruk kyo gaye?"

Bache ne ek najar mahila ke bhaari bharkam shareer par daali, phir sakuchakar board ki or sanket kiya| Mahila ne board ko dekha, jis par likha tha- "Bhaari vaahano ko pehle jaane de|"

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Putra- "Pitaji, mai aapko apni baaraat me nahi le jaaunga|"

Pita- "Kyo?"

Putra- "Kyoki aap bhi mujhe apni baaraat me nahi le gae the|"

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Santa- "Agar aap mera karja chuka de to aapka

bada ahsaan hoga|"

Banta- "Lekin aaj aap galat waqt par aaye hai|"

Santa- "To kab aau?"

Banta- "Jab mai ghar par na hou tab|"

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Doordarshan ke ek interview me ek ummeedvar se poocha gaya- "Aapko rukavat ke liye khed hai ke alaava aur kya pasand hai?"

Ummeedvar- "Samachar samaapt huye|"

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Patni- "Ae ji, tumne kuch suna| Kal raat hamari padosan Reena ne apne gale me phaasi ka phanda daal liya tha|"

Pati dukh se- "Bechari Reena|"

Patni- "Magar end waqt par uske pati ne aakar use bacha liya|"

Pati- "Bechara pati|"

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Ek mahaashay- "Are! Yah kya? Is tasveer me to mai apni umra se das saal bada dikh raha hoon|"

Photographer- "Saahab, isme to aapka faayda hai| Das varsh baad aapko photo khinchvaane ki aavashyakta nahi hogi|"

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Premi- "Darling, jab mai tumhe dekhta hoon to

mera dil dhadakne lagta hai, mai apne hoshohavas

kho baithta hoon, gala sookh jaata hai|"

Premika- "Tum pyaar ka ijhaar kar rahe ho ya apni

beemaariya gina rahe ho?"

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Do naali ke keede khaate samay aapas me baate kar rahe the|

Ek keeda- "Tumne suna hai, vah saamne vaala hotel

kitna saaf hai| Har vastu sheeshe ki tarah chamakti hai|"

Doosra keeda- "Bas karo yaar, kam-se-kam khaana khaate samay to aisi ghinauni baate mat kiya karo|"

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Santa apne padosi ke ghar pahunche, bole- "Dekhiye, aapke ladke ne mere kamre ka sheesha patthar maarkar tod diya|"

Banta- "Aap uski harkato par dhyaan mat deejiye| Vo pagal hai|"

Santa- "To phir apne ghar ke sheeshe kyo nahi todta?"

Banta- "Lekin itna pagal bhi nahi hai|"

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Adhyapak- "Nadi me nahaate samay muh kis disha

me karna chahiye?"

Shyaam- "Sir, kinaare par rakhe kapdo ki disha me|"

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Ghode se girte hi uske savaar ke muh se aawaaj

nikli- "He bhagwaan! Ye toone kya kiya?"

Raahgeer- "Kitna bhola hai bechara| Chot ke liye

bhagwaan se shikaayat kar raha hai, ghode se nahi|"

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Santa- "Yaar, mai America jaane ki soch raha hoon|"

Banta- "Achi soch hai|"

Santa- "Bhala kitna kharch ho jaayega?"

Banta- "Ek paisa bhi nahi, bhala sochne me

paisa kaha kharch hota hai?"

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Raamu- "Mai school nahi jaaunga|"

Maa- "Kyo beta? Kya padhai me mann nahi lagta?"

Raamu- "Nahi maa, yah baat nahi| Master saahab ko

khud to kuch aata-jaata nahi, har sawaal ka uttar

mujhse hi poochte hai|"

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Ek mareej kaafi der tak dawakhaane me doctor ki

prateeksha karta raha| aant me usne ek chitthi likh

di- "Mai apni swaabhaavik maut marne ke liye wapas

lautkar jaa raha hoon|"

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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Hindi_Jokes

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