Wednesday, May 5, 2010

[Hindi_Jokes] SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-091-092-093-094-095-096-097-098-099-100

 

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Santa- "Aji, jaldi chalkar mere ghar ka beema kar lo|"

Company waala- "Thero, aadhe ghante baad calenge|"

Santa- "Vah to jal raha hai| Aadhe ghante tak to

uska khaatma ho jaayega|"

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Master- "Ladko, garmi me cheeje badh jaati hai|

Iska udaahran do|"

Ladka- "Garmiyo me hamari chuttiya do mahine

ki aur sardiyo me das din ki rah jaati hai|"

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Doctor- "Kal dawaai pi li thi?"

Mareej- "Ji nahi, daat thi|"

Doctor- "Mera matlab hai ki tumne dawaa pi li thi ki nahi?"

Mareej- "Ji, aapne jo sheeshee di thi, us par likha

tha ki daat sadaiv band rakhe|"

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Daakuo ne ek aadmi ko pakadkar kaha- "Ya to jaan

do ya rupya, jo bhi tumhaare paas hai|"

Vah vyakti jaldi se bol utha- "Ji nahi, tum meri jaan le

lo, rupya to maine apne budhape ke liye rakh choda hai|"

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Ek naayi ne, jo bahut tej dhaar waale ustare

 se shave kar raha tha, graahak se poocha- "Aap kitne bhai hai?"

Graahak- "Tumhare ustare se bach gaya

 to char honge, varna teen hi samjho|"

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Santa- "Mai jaasusi upanyaas likh raha hoon|"

Banta- "Lekin use prakaashit kaun karega?"

Santa- "Yah to jaasus hi pata lagayega|"

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Santa- "Aapki shirt ke kone par yah gaanth kaisi bandhi hai?"

Banta- "Patni ka patra post karne ki yaad bani rahe isliye|"

Santa- "To aapne vah patra post kar diya?"

Banta- "Nahi, meri patni vah patra mujhe dena hi bhool gayi|"

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Premika- "Priy, tum kal kitni machli maarkar laye the?"

Premi- "Paanch machliya, kyo, aaj bhi machli khaane

ka dil kar raha hai kya?"

Premika- "Nahi, darahsal machli waala machliyo ke

paise maangne aaya tha|"

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Patni- "Mai kab sabse jyaada achi lagti hoon?"

Pati- "Jis samay tum maayke me rehti ho|"

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Seeta- "Mai kabhi sahi umra kisi ko nahi batati|"

Geeta- "Kabhi galti se bhi nahi|"

Seeta- "Kabhi nahi|"

Geeta- "Kabhi anjaane me bhi nahi?"

Seeta- "Gat chaalees varsho se jo baat maine

 gupt rakhi hai, bhala use anjaane me

 bhi kaise prakat kar sakti hoon?"

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Ek baar ek dehaati Doctor se ek mareej ne sardi ki dawa maangi|

Doctor- "Ghar jaakar thande paani se naha lo aur bina

shareer ponche so jao|"

Mareej- "Isse to nimoniya ho jayega|"

Doctor- "Mai nimoniya ka ilaaj jaanta hoon,

sardi ka ilaaj mujhe nahi maaloom|"

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Ek ladki ne apne vivaah ke avsar par puraane premi

ko nimantran-patra bheja| Jawab me premi ne badhai

ka taar diya- "Ishwar kare, yah shubh din baar-baar aaye|"

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Premika- "Mai daave se kah sakti hoon ki stree aur

purush ki beemaariya alag-alag hoti hai|"

Premi- "Kaise?"

Premika- "Tumne kisi lady doctor ko purush ka

ilaaj karte dekha hai?"

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Judge- "Tumne ek nai kapade ka suitcase kyo churaya?"

Chor- "Hujoor, phate-puraane kapade

 pehankar shehar me ghoomte sharm aati hai|"

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Doctor- "Jis samay aapko sardi lagi, aapke daant

kitkita rahe the?"

Boodha mareej- "Yah kehna to mushkil hai|"

Doctor- "Kyo?"

Mareej- "Us raat daant gusalkhaane me rakhe the|"

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Ek aurat- "Doctor saahab! Aap mujhe aisi jagah sui

lagaye ki mere pati tak ko uske nishaan ka pata na chale|"

Doctor- "Thik hai... to phir jeebh baahar nikaaliye|"

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Premika- "Chalo priy, baazaar se saadi le aate hai|"

Premi- "Kyo?"

Premika- "Kal tum keh rahe the ki tumhare paas

 roomaal nahi hai| Baazaar chalte hai aur ek saadi

 le aate hai, kyoki ek saadi ke saath ek roomaal muft hai|"

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Premika- "Priy, tum aankho ka doctor banna pasand

karoge ya daanto ka?"

Premi- "Daanto ka doctor|"

Premika- "Kyo?"

Premi- "Aankh to do hi hoti hai jabki daant battees hote hai|"

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Premika ko gaane ka shauk tha|

Premika- "Priy, kya meri aawaaj kisi kaam aa sakti hai?"

Premi- "Kyo nahi, shehar ke logo ko hawai hamle

se saavdhaan karne ke kaam me aa sakti hai|"

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Doctor- "Aapko badhajmi ho gai hai| Roj subah

uthkar aap ek glass garm paani piya kijiye|"

Mareej- "Mai to kayi mahino se garm paani peeta aa

raha hoon doctor, parantu meri patni use chaye kehti hai|"

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Premika- "Mai tumse vivaah nahi kar sakti|"

Premi- "Vivaah ko maaro goli| Prem to kar sakti ho?"

Premika- "Avashya kar sakti hoon...|"

Premie- "Magar kab...?"

Premika- "Vivaah ke baad|"

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Shaadi ke teesre din patni ke mann me icha huyi ki

naukri karni chahiye, to vah pati se boli-

"Maine B.A. paas kiya hai, agar naukri karoon,

to aapko koi etraaj to na hoga?"

Pati- "Tum bhi kamaal karti ho| Issi umeed par

to maine tumse shaadi ki hai|"

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Maalik- "Anil, kya tum yah samajhte ho ki mai paagal hoon?"

Anil- "Vah bhala mai kaise keh sakta hoon,

 bhai saahab? Abhi to aapne mujhe

 kaam par rakha bhi nahi hai|"

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Rogi- "Vaidhji! Mai har baat sheeghra bhool jaata hoon|"

Vaidh- "To meri fees mujhe pehle de do,

kabhi baad me bhool jao|"

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Master- "Jinki janam-tithi san 1956 ki hai,

uski umra is samay kya hogi?"

Shishya- "Pehle yah bataiye ki vah stree hai ya purush?"

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Patni- "Dekho ji, tumhara dost jis ladki se shaadi

karna chahta hai, vah ladki achi nahi hai,

apne dost ko mana kyo nahi karte?"

Pati- "Mai kyo mana karoon, usne bhi mujhe mana

nahi kiya tha|"

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Premi- "Darling, batao, tumhe ek saadi doon ya

Banaras ki yaatra karau?"

Premika- "Banaras chalo, vaha Banarasi saadiya

bhi bahut sasti milti hai|"

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Graahak- "Mai is photo ko bilkul pasand nahi karta,

 kyoki mai is photo me bilkul bandar jaisa dikhai de raha hoon|"

Photographer- "Vah to aapko photo khichvaane

 se pehle sochna chahiye tha|"

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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Hindi_Jokes
 

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