Saturday, May 1, 2010

[Hindi_Jokes] SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-71-72-73-74-75-76-77-78-79-80

 

SUHANI KE SUHANE HINDI JOKES-072

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Seeta- "Mahesh, tu itni der se kya kha raha hai?"

Mahesh- "Akal ki dawa|"

Seeta- "Akal ki dawa, phir to mujhe bhi de de|"

Mahesh- "Do rupaye ki hai|"

Seeta (rupaye dekar dawa khaate huye)- "Are! Ye to gud hai|"

Mahesh- "Dekha, dawa khaate hi akal aa gayi|"

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Ek janaaja chaurahe par do minute ke liye ruka| Bank ki gaadi jisme bank ki sampatti thi, raasta khaali na hone ke kaaran janaaje ke peeche chalne lagi| Tabhi wahi khada ek sharaabi bol pada- "Wah! Pehli baar dekh raha hoon ki koi marne ke baad bhi bank balance saath liye jaa raha hai|"

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Doctor ne apne mitra se poocha- "Khaali pet hone par tum kitni roti kha sakte ho?"

Mitra ne kaafi soch-samajhkar uttar diya- "Mere vichaar se saat rotiya to kha hi jaaunga|"

Doctor- "Galat, ek roti khaane par tumhara pet khaali

kaha rah jaayega|"

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Pati- "Batao, shaadi me dulha ghodi ke jagah gadhe

par chadkar kyo nahi aata?"

Patni- "Isliye ki dulhan ek saath do gadho ko dekhkar

kahi dar na jaaye|"

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Premi- "Tum bhi kitni bholi ho| Kya meri aankho

se mere dil ka haal nahi padh sakti?"

Premika- "Tum to jaante ho ki mai padhna nahi jaanti|"

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Railgaadi ki birth par ek saahab sandook rakhkar baithne lage to niche baithi moti mahila ekdam boli-

"Ise kahi aur rakhiye, kahi yah mere upar gir gaya to?"

Yaatri laaparvaahi se bola- "Koi chinta ki baat nahi,

isme koi bhi tootne waala saamaan nahi hai|"

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Santa- "Kyo, tumhaare daant kaise toot gaye?"

Banta- "Hasne ke kaaran|"

Santa- "Hasne ke kaaran?"

Banta- "Haan yaar, kal mai ek pehalvaan ko

dekhkar has pada tha|"

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Muhalle me kiraye ke makaan me aayi nayi mahila apni padosan se- "Kya tumhara koi ladka hai?"

Padosan- "Haan, mera ek ladka hai|"

Mahila- "Kya vah cigrate pita hai?"

Padosan- "Nahi|"

Mahila- "Wah! Tumhara ladka kitna acha hai,

uski umra kitni hai?"

Padosan- "Teen mahine|"

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Premika- "Yah kya bematlab ka uphaar laye ho tum meri saalgiraah par| chaaye ke cup to hamare ghar me bhare pade hai|"

Premi- "Yah bematlab ka nahi hai, balki matlab ka uphaar hai priy| Yah sada tumhare hontho ko choomta rahega|"

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Maa ne daantte huye- "Rinku, tum behad sharaarti ho gaye ho| Dekhne me bhi bandar ki tarah lagte ho|"

Rinku- "Nahi mummy, aap jhooth bolti hai| Pados waali aunty to kehti hai ki tum bilkul apne papa ki shakal se milte ho|"

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Premika- "Kya mere hontho ka hi 'kiss' tumne sabse pehle liya?"

Premi- "Haa aur wahi sabse adhik madhoor hai|"

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Santa- "Kyo sust ho?"

Banta- "Yaar, mera sir bahut dukhta hai to meri premika mera sir choom leti hai, bas dil ko itni thandak milti hai ki dard theek ho jaata hai|"

Santa- "To bhai ye batao ki tumhari premika kab

aayegi aur kaha milegi?"

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Santa- "Pati-patni me sabse jyaada shaanti kab rehti hai?"

Banta- "Jab pati yah nahi sunta ki patni kya kehti

hai aur patni nahi dekhti ki pati kya kar rahi hai?"

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Premi premika ke ghar aaya to use akele paakar bola- "Kya tumhari choti behan ko mere aane ka pata hai?"

Premika- "Haan|"

Premi- "Tum kaise jaanti ho?"

Premika- "Kyoki vah baahar chali gayi hai|"

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Premika- "Tum to kah rahe the ki is beauty clinic me tumhe naukri mil gayi hai| Phir tum baahar khade kya kar rahe ho?"

Premi- "Yaha baahar khade rehna, bheetar jaane waali naariyo ki upeksha karna, jab shrungaar karakar baahar nikle to seeti bajaana, yahi to meri naukri hai|"

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Premi- "Mard ko 'bechara' kyo kehte hai?"

Premika- "Kyoki jo shakhs jahaaj, railmarg, pull aadi

bana sakta hai, vishwa yudh lad sakta hai, sher ka

shikaar kar sakta hai... vah bechara apni kameej

me button nahi taank sakta|"

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Premika- "Agar shaadi se pehle mujhe bacha ho gaya

to mai aatmahatya kar loongi|"

Premi- "Shaabaash, meri premika ko aisa hi

hona chahiye|"

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Pati- "Aise jeevan se behtar hai ki mai mar jau|

He Bhagwaan! Mujhe utha le|"

Patni- "He Ram! Isse pehle tu mujhe utha le|"

Pati- "Bhagwaan! Aaj tu isi ki sun le|

Mai apni praarthna vaapas leta hoon|"

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Ek stree- "Kyo ji Rajbhavan chaloge?"

Taange waala- "Nahi hujoor|"

Stree- "Kyo?"

Taange waala- "Waha jaane waale ko Minister bana

dete hai| Mera ghoda bhookho mar jaayega|"

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Raamu- "Start ho jaane ke baad is gaadi ka

break nahi lagta|"

Motor mechanic- "Kya aapki patni bhi is car ko

drive karti hai?"

Raamu- "Haan|"

Motor mechanic- "Tabhi unka asar is par pad gaya|"

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Santa- "Apne desh me mrutyu ki ausat dar kya hai?"

Banta- "Shat-pratishat|"

Santa- "Kaise?"

Banta- "Yaha par jo manushya paida hota hai

vah ant me mar jaata hai|"

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Patni- "Mai tumko sacha paarkhi manti hoon|"

Pati- "Vah kyo?"

Patni- "Meri taaiji kaha karti thi ki tum jaisi

gavaar ko koi kaath ka ulloo hi byaahega|"

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Patni- "Aajkal kharch ki badi tangi hone lagi hai|"

Pati- "Haan...Mai saptaah me poore cheh din kaam

karta hoon aur tum poore saat din kharch karti ho|

Ghaata to hoga hi|"

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Police waale ne pati-patni ko rok liya|

Pati- "Kya baat hai?"

Police- "Cycle par teen savaari chalna

kaanooni jurm hai|"

Pati- "Par ham to kewal do hai|"

Police- "Aur tumhari patni ke pet me jo bacha hai|"

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Ek adhed umra ke school teacher ne apni student se

poocha- "Mai sundar hoon, yah kaun-sa kaal hai?"

Ladki tadaak se boli- "Ji...bhootkaal!"

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Seeta- "Jis daftar me mai kaam karti hoo,

uska maalik bahut sharif aadmi hai|"

Geeta- "Uski umra kya hai?"

Seeta- "Assi saal|"

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Maalkin bigad kar- "Aaj phir tu der se aayi?"

Naukrani- "Kya-kya karoon| Raat-bhar to maalik

ke pair dabaati rahi, phir uske baad...|"

Maalkin- "Shut up...kya bakti hai?"

Naukrani- "Aji, mai aapke ghar ki nahi,

apne ghar ki baat kar rahi hoon|"

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Seeta- "Yah photographer bahut badmaash aadmi hai|"

Geeta- "Kyo? Kya baat ho gayi?"

Seeta- "Mai photo utarvaane gayi| Vo haraami

bola, jara meri or muskaraakar to dekho|"

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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Hindi_Jokes

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