Thursday, September 30, 2010

[Hindi_Jokes] Hindi Jokes

 


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Wife : I will die.
Husband : I will also die.
Wife : why do u want to die?
Husband : because main itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta.



Sardar sharab peeta ro raha tha.
Sharab wala : kyon ro rahe ho?
Sardar : aur kiya karon? main jis ladki ka naam bhulana
chata hoon. us ka naam yaad he nahi aa raha.



In art gallery couple sees picture of a girl covered by leaf.
Husband was keep watching her.
wife : ab chaloge bhi ya
Hawa k aane ka intezar kar rahe karte raho gaye?



ek admi ki car se parrot takra k behosh hogaya.
admi parrot ko ghar le gaya pinjre main rakha aur khana diya.
parrot hosh se jaga aur bola - jail?
car ka driver mar gaya kiya?



ladka hum 25 bahen bhai hain.
ladki : kiya aap k ghar family planning wale nahi aate?
ladka : aaye the school samjh k vapas chale gaye.



I asked Abhishek what is the difference between
old Umrao Jaan and new Umrao Jaan?
Abhishek: nayi wali se apni setting hai.
aur
old wali se papa ki.



ek sardar ka 20 saal baad beta hua. woh udas hogaya.
2nd dost : yaar udas kyon ho?
Sardar: 20 saal baad beta hua hai "woh bhi itna chota"



sardar: aaj main ne pani ko ullu bana diya.
freind: pani ko ullu? woh kaise?
sardar: oye! subha main ne pani garam kiya
aur thande pani se naha liya



Father: qutub minar kahan hai?
Son: pata nahi.
Father: kabhi ghar se bhi bahar nikla karo.
Son: jamil uncle koun hain?
Father pata nahi.
Son: kabhi ghar pe bhi ruka karo.



sardar dukhi tha
kisi ne pocha kyon tension main ho?
sardar: yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery k liye 3 lakh diye the
ab main us ko pehchan nahi pa raha hoon.



man to hotel manager: jaldi chalo, meri wife khidki
se khodh kar jaan dena chati hai.
manager: so .. sir what can i do?
Man: abey khidki nahi khul rahi.



Father beta ye lo 20 rupees mummy se mat kahna
k main nokrani k sath soya tha.
beta: dad aap bohat kanjos ho mummy pore 50 deti hain
jab woh driver k sath soti hain..



doctor to lady: kiya aap dilevery k waqat bache k baap ko
apne pass dekhna chati hain?
Lady: nahi un ko mere husband pasand nahi karte.



woh koun sa waqt hota hai jab bhai bhai ka nahi
beta baap ka nahi, maa beti ki nahi,
beta maa ka nahi hota?
answer: jab shadi main awaz ati hai khana khul gaya.



2007 ka faqir: baji bhoka hoon Allah k waste khana de do.
baji: abhi khana nahi bana, baad main aana.
Faqir: mera number le lo,
jab khana ban jaye to miscall kar dena.

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[Hindi_Jokes] To filmi lovers.

 


Hindi Jokes Group


Dear My Sapno Ki Rani ,
KYA KEHNA the first time I saw you, I asked my self HUM APKE HAIN KAUN, feeling thatKUCH KUCH HOTA HAI so I decided to forward you a PUKAR from DIL SE. I thought that by the way HUM TO MOHABBAT KAREGA¦so with my DIL TO PAGAL HAI, I dream to be your HERO No.1 and I’ll make you my BIWI No.1. You might think that I am fooling you as BADAL but remember JHOOT BOLE KAWA KATE. Please JANAM SAMJA KARO that PYAAR KOHI KHEL NAHIN and I admit that DIL DE CHUKE SANAM. I trust AAP MERE HAI SANAM. I believe that HUM APKE DIL MEIN REHTE HAIN for HAMESHA. Remember JAB PYAR KISSI SE HOTA HAI why not AA ABH LAUT CHALEIN and you can come SAAJAN KI BAHON MEI. There is SIRF TUM in my life. If you say YES BOSS, then I will become your JORU KA GULAM. Dont worry be happy,DHOLI SAJA KE RAKHNA because DILWALE DULHANIYA LE JAYENGE.
KAHO NA PYAR HAI, MERE SANAM.
Yours Sincerely,
DEEWANA MASTANA.

Dear Deewana Mastana ,
Thank you for your love letter. However I feel HADH KUR DI AAPNE for HUM APKE HAI KAUN? DIL CHAHTA HAI , I should tell you I think you are a JAANWAR and a SHREE 420! I have to tell you I know your MOHABBATEIN are false. How dare you look at me you COOLIE No.1! if you were here in front of me I’d hit you with my chapple so hard your head will spin with these YAADEIN. You said KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI every time you think of me but I know you feel HASEENA MAAN JAYEGEE to every girl you see. RAM JAANE what I would  do to you if I catch you. If you have any KHAUF you will feel DARR from me. You are a KUNWARA leading a RANGEELA lifestyle, with friends saying CHAL MERE BHAI spending all your nights on the SADAK . I am sure the SHOLAY in your heart you say burn for me is nothing but indigestion from too much eating and drinking. Describing yourself as BAADSHAH and HIMMUTVAAR , you sound like JUNGLI to me. You say you want to make me your BIWI No. 1 however I say you lack INSANIYAAT! I cant believe you think I’ll turn to you and say KAHO NA PYAR HAI! I’d much rather kiss a BICHOO than go near you! Any of AMER AKBAR ANTHONY would be better suited to me than you. DILWALE DULHANIYA LE JAYENGE you said but I say your DIL TO PAGAL HAI. Don’t you realize that ANDAZ APNA APNA and that their cant be no EK RISHTA between us. We are like a MOHRA in the game of life and its always KABHI KHUSHI KABHI GHUM. The open FIZA with its changing weather is testament to that so please leave it asAKELE HUM AKELETUM . Besides I’m already engaged to a guy with ROTI KAPRA AUR MAKAAN. He’s no KHAL NAYAK like you.. And he’s my real HERO, my real JIVAN SAATHI . And with him I really know YEAH RAASTE HAI PYAR KE and there can be no space in my ZINDAGI for anyone but him. You’ll only end up causing an AFLATOON because he’s a MAJOR SAHAB in the Army working on the BORDER and he’ll MURDERyou if he finds out so save yourself from becoming the foundations of a DEEWAR and leave me alone.


Yours Faithfully,
GHAR WALI BHAHAR WALI.
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To Filmi Lovers

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