CHAK DE

=======

Wife (on phone)
Suniye ji, window khul nahi rahi hai.

Husband- Aisa karo
thoda tel garam kar ke us par daal do.

Wife- Kya usese kaam ho jayega.

Husband- Try to karo.

After 15 mins , husband calls wife. 
Husband- Tumne try kiya??

Wife- Haan kiya, par ab laptop hi band ho gaya!!!

=======

What is "GENERATION GAP"?

**Father used to walk 20 Minutes to save 20 Rs.

Son spends 20 Rs. to save 20 Minutes.

(Surprisingly both are correct...!!!)

=======

"Is kadar bebas nahin zindagi

Koshish jeene ki to karo yaaron

Beh jaayenge gham saare aansu ban kar

Koshish inhein peene ki to karo yaaron"

=======

Chhat tapkti hai uske...kacche ghar ki....!

Wo Kissan fir bhi... Barish ki dua karta hai...

=======

Ye bhi ek tamasha hai bazar-e-ulfat me galib....

Dil kisi ka hota hai aur bas kisi ka chalta hai...

=======

"Reh rehkar unki yaad aaye to kya kare,

Unki yaad dil se na jaye to kya kare,

socha tha khwab me mulakaat hogi unse,

isi khushi me neend na aaye to kya kare!"

=======

WoMen never listen properly:-

Wife: I lost my keys again !

Husband: It's in your Jeans.

Wife: Don't drag my family into this....

=======

Here is a list of things you need to teach your child(ren) at early age:

1: Warn your girl child never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation including
uncles.

2: Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself.

3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as 'my wife' or 'my husband'

4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find
out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves.

5. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child
becomes too fond of a particular adult.

6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patiently
ask lots of questions from your child. 

7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you
don't, the society will teach them the wrong values.

8: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.

9. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice your friends especially those your child(ren) visit(s) often.

10. Teach your 3 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that
includes you (remember, charity begins from home
and with you).

11: Blacklist some materials/associates you think could threaten the sanity of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families).

12. Let your child(ren) understand the value of standing out of the
crowd.

13: Once your child complains about a
particular person, don't keep quiet about it. Take
up the case and show them you can defend them.

Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be.

"We Cares for your Child..." 

=======

आज सिर उठा के वही चलता है 




जिसके पास Smart Phone नहीं है...

=======

महसूस जब हो कि सारा शहर, आपसे ज़लने लगा है,

समझ लेना आपका नाम भी , चलने लगा है !!...

=======

Yaadon ko awaaz na dena..

Jeena mushkil kar deti hain

=======

Kabhi hum tutey toh kabhi khwaab tutey,

Na jane kitne tukado mein armaan tutey,

Har tukda aayina hai zindagi ka,

Har aayine ke saath laakhon jazbaat tutey....

=======

Ae dil tu dhadak par itna to soch zara,

teri pasand aur hai mere halaat aur hai.

=======

कौन कहता है जैसा "संग वैसा रंग"

इंसान लोमड़ी के साथ नहीं रहता फिर भी 'शातिर' है...

इंसान शेर के साथ नहीं रहता फिर भी 'क्रूर' है...!!!

=======

"एक एक कर इतनी कमियां निकाली लोगों ने मुझमें,  

की अब बस "खुबियां" ही रह गयी हैं मुझमें........!

=======

A Serious Statement written outside a Women shoe shop 

. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 

50% Discount 
if you select in 2min

=======

Height of hygiene...???

An architect washing his hands with dettol

after making a drawing of a toilet..

=======

Wife casually calls husband at office one afternoon:

Husband : Hi, kaisi ho?

Wife : Theek hun.
Husband : Aaj kya khaya lunch mein?

Wife : Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain, 

kya khaya, kuan sa serial dekha, kaun sa song suna....

Husband : Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how shuld RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?

Wife : (after few seconds silence).... daal chawal khaye hain, dahi aur salad bhi tha...

=======


Sent from Samsung Mobile