Friday, May 7, 2010

[Hindi_Jokes] SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-101-102-103-104-105-106-107-108-109-110

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ek premi jhijhakta hua apni premika ke baap ke

paas pahuncha aur bola- "Mai aapki ladki ka

haath maangne aaya hoon|"

Ladki ka pita- "Sirf haath nahi milega|

Maangni hai to poori ladki maango|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ramesh- "Mummy! Hamari padosan ka naam bhi ajeeb hai|"

Maa- "Kyo... Lata naam me kya kharabi hai?"

Ramesh- "Par mummy! Daddy to use darling kehkar

pukaarte hai|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Mareej- "Mai vaastav me hi apne heart operation ki

baat sochkar nervous hua ja raha hoon doctor|"

Surgeon- "Nervous hone ki aavashyakta nahi|

 Aaj tak mere operationo me sirf ek hi mareej ki maut huyi hai|"

Mareej- "Aaj tak aap kitne mareejo ke operation

kar chuke hai?"

Surgeon- "Tum doosre ho|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Dosto ki mehfil se bahut jaldi uth jaane par

santa ko unke dosto ne taana diya- "Patni ka

aisa bhi kya dar, tum aadmi ho ya choohe?"

Santa- "Aadmi, choohe se to meri patni darti hai|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Santa- "Jo cheej maangte ho, yah kutta laakar de

deta hai... Phir aap ise kyo bech rahe hai?"

Banta- "Kya karoon? Ek din hamare ghar me chor

aaye to yah haraamjaada lalten lekar unhe

raasta dikha raha tha|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Patni- "haaN, maine apne pati kI hatya ki hai|"

Nyaayadheesh- "Lekin kyo?"

Patni- "Ji, mai talaak ka kharcha bardaash karne

me asmarth thi|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Patni- "Kyo ji! Agar mai rasoiye ko hataakar kal se aapko

 apne haath ka khaana khilau to mujhe kya milega?"

Pati- "Meri beema policy ki poori rakam|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Pati- "Mere marne ke baad tum saamne waale guptaji

se shaadi kar lena|"

Patni- "Kya keh rahe hai aap? Guptaji to aapke

jaani dushman hai|"

Pati- "Haan, mai unse badla lena chahta hoon|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ek kanjoos seth jab marne ko hua to ek

 rishtedaar ne kaha- "Ab to aap mar hi rahe hai|

 Jaate-jaate samaaj ke liye kuch de jaaiye|"

Seth- "Aur kya doon? Ab jaan to de raha hoon|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Chota bacha- "Mere pita branch manager hai|"

Bhoodhi mahila- "Sachmuch? Vah kis shaakha ki

dekhbhaal karte hai?"

Chota bacha- "Ve pedo ki shaakhao ki dekhbhaal karte hai|

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Paagalkhaane me ek baar charcha chid gayi-

"Sabse bada paagal kaun hai?"

Kaafi ho-halle ke baad yah tay hua ki sabse bada

paagal doctor hai|

Ek paagal- "Kyo?"

Doosra paagal- "Are! acha bhalaa hokar bhi paagalo

ke beech reh raha hai|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Santa- "Kya tumhara patni se hamesha matbhed rehta hai?"

Banta- "Haan, sirf ek baar nahi raha|"

Santa- "Vo kab?"

Banta- "Jab ghar me aag lagi thi to ham dono ek

hi darwaaje se baahar nikle the|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Adhyapak- "Tinka ka bahuvachan kya hai?"

Reena- "Jhaadoo|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Seth bholaram ke pet ke upar se chooha nikal gaya

to vah uthkar chillane laga|

Patni- "Isme itna chillane ki kya baat hai?"

Sethji- "Aaj to chooha gujra hai, kal haathi,

ghode, bail, motor sabhi gujar sakte hai, is tarah

to mera pet aam raasta ban jaayega|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Seeta- "Aajkal mere pitaji ke aage sab sir jhukaate hai|"

Geeta- "Kaun se officer hai?"

Seeta- "Unhone hajjaam ka kaam shuru kar diya hai|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Pita- "Beta, tumhe kitni baar samjhaya ki vah

sachmuch ka sher nahi tasveer hai| Phir kyo ghabraate ho?"

Beta- "Mai ghabrata nahi pitaji, par mujhe yah

chinta bani rehti hai ki vah bechara bhookha hoga|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Yaatri- "Are bhai, yaha paas me koi kabristaan hai?"

Coolie- "Ji nahi|"

Yaatri- "Koi shamshaanghaat?"

Coolie- "Vah bhi nahi hai|"

Yaatri- "Kamaal hai, to phir rail ki pratiksha karte

samay jo log mar jaate hai, unka kya kiya jaata hai?"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Premika- "Mera khyaal hai ki ab hame shaadi kar

leni chahiye|"

Premi- "Kya mai tumhe hasta hua acha nahi lagta?"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Premika ki maa- "Meri putri badi vishaal hradya hai|"

Premi- "Haan, aap thik kehti hai, mai apne alaava

uske pyaar ke do aur afsaane sun chuka hoon|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Patni ne padosiyo ke baare me pati se poocha-

"Kya unki jodi upyukt hai?"

Pati- "Bahut upyukt hai| Pati kharraate bharta

hai aur patni behri hai|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Premi- "Tum mere hote huye kisi bhi chor ya gunde

se mat darna|"

Premika- "Tum itne diler ho?"

Premi- "Nahi, mai daud me champion hoon| Aisa koi

khatra hua to mai bhaagkar police ko soochit kar doonga|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Premi- "Aaj meri kisi ne jeb kaat li|"

Premika- "To police me report karo|"

Premi- "Lekin galti kar di maine|"

Premika- "Kya?"

Premi- "Jeb kaatne ke turant baad maine darji se

jeb silva di|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Santa- "Tumhari patni jab kisi vishay par charcha

karti hai to aant me kaun bolta hai?"

Banta- "Mai hi|"

Santa- "Tum kya kehte ho?"

Banta- "Tu jeeti, mai haara, ab bas kar|'

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Patni pati se jhallakar- "Mai poochti hoon, shaadi ke

baad tumne kaun-se sukh diye hai?"

Pati- "He bhagwan! Do bache de diye aur kya chahiye?"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Premi ke maathe par pattiya bandhi huyi thi|

Uske mitra ne poocha- "Are yaar! Yah kya hua?"

Premi- "Kuch nahi dost| Meena ne mere diye

 hue phool mere maathe par de maare|"

Mitra- "Lekin phoolo se itni chot nahi lag sakti|"

Premi- "Kyo nahi lag sakti, phool phooldaan me jo the|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Restaurant me baithe huye ek premi ne apni premika

 se poocha- "Kaho, kya mangvaaya jaye?"

Premika- "Mere liye coffee aur apne liye ambulance,

kyoki darwaaje par mere pitaji khade hai|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Daftar me aayi nayi typist ne doosre kone me

baithi ek khoobsoorat ladki se poocha-

"Tum hamesha nithalli kyo baithi rehti ho?"

Khoobsoorat ladki- "Boss ko yahi pasand hai|

Mera vibhaag shikaayato ka vibhaag hai|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Premika- "Kisi ne kaha hai ki jise achi shakal milti

hai, use akal nahi milti|"

Premi- "Isliye to maine tumse pyaar kiya hai|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Fauji adaalat ke saamne kaptaan aur havaldaar ka

mukadma chal raha tha|

Judge- "Kyo havaldaar, tumne kaptaan saahab ko kya gaali di?"

Havaldaar- "Ji, ulloo, gadha, paaji kaha|"

Judge- "Tumne kyo kaha?"

Havaldaar -"Ji, kaptaan saahab ne mujhe poocha tha

 ki tu mujhe kya samajhta hai, maine sab bata diya|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Patni- "Aapka yah suite phat gaya hai| Isse bartan

khareed loon?"

Pati- "Nahi rehne do| Income tax me katauti

karaane ke samay ise pehankar jaaunga|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Pati- "Shaadi se pehle to mai hukm ka baadshah tha|"

Patni- "Aur ab?"

Pati- "Chidi ka gulaam|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Patni- "Kaash! Kam-se-kam tum mera dhyaan rakhte|"

Pati- "Bhai, koshish to poori karta hoon ki tumhara

dhyaan kam-se-kam rakhoon|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Pati ne patni ko uski saalgirah par heero ka haar

bhent me diya| Vah khush ho gayi, magar fauran hi

kuch sochkar pati se boli- "Aapne to is saalgirah par

mere liye car kharidne ka vaada kiya tha|"

Pati- "Kharid to deta, magar kya karoon, nakli

caaren milti kaha hai?"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Santa- "Ghar ka maalik kaise bane?

 Naamak kitaab se koi laab pahuncha?"

Banta- "Nahi|"

Santa- "Kyo?"

Banta- "Meri patni vah kitaab mujhe padhne hi

nahi deti|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Patni ne apne pati ko bade garv se bataya- "Jab meri

car telephone ke khambe se takra gayi,

 to police waale ne badi shishtta se mujhse

 kaha ki yadi aap aagya de to mai shehar ke

 saare telephone ke khambe hatva doon|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Mahima- "Ve kaun log hai, jo pustak vikreta ko

pasand nahi karte?"

Aini- "Mai nahi jaanti|"

Mahima- "Librarian|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ghar ke kalah hone ke baad pati ne gusse

 me pankhe se rassi ka phanda latkaaya aur

 stool par cadhkar phanda daalne ko taiyaar ho gaye|

Patni- "Jo kuch karna hai, jaldi karo|"

Pati- "Tum mujhe shaanti se marne do|"

Patni- "Mujhe stool ki sakht jaroorat hai|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Premi- "Hamari mulakaat to abhi teen din ki hai

aur tumne mujhse vivaah karne ka faisla kar liya?"

Premika- "Lekin mai us bank me teen saal se hoon,

jisme tumhara account hai|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Ajay- "Reena, kal raat mai badi der tak tumhare

paas baitha raha tha| Mere jaane ke baad maa ne

pitaji se koi shikayat to nahi ki thi?"

Reena- "Ki thi, vah pitaji se keh rahi thi,

sabhi mard ek jaise hote hai| Yah baat aaj

 bhi utni hi sach hai jitni hamare jamaane me thi|"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Santa- "Paanch minute me apne shabd waapas lo,

varna acha na hoga|"

Banta- "Aur paanch minute me shabd waapas na loon to?"

Santa- "Acha tumhi batao, tumhe is kaam ke

liye kitna samay chahiye?"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Hindi_Jokes
 

__._,_.___
Recent Activity:
Also visit our website on Latest Kurtis Collections
http://www.premgarment.com
MARKETPLACE

Stay on top of your group activity without leaving the page you're on - Get the Yahoo! Toolbar now.

Get great advice about dogs and cats. Visit the Dog & Cat Answers Center.

Hobbies & Activities Zone: Find others who share your passions! Explore new interests.

.

__,_._,___
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)