Tuesday, April 27, 2010

[Hindi_Jokes] SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-31-32-33-34-35-36-37-38-39-40

 

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Santa- "Kal aapne apne bache ko bahut pita|

Aakhir aisi kya baat ho gayi thi usse?"

Banta- "Darhasal do din baad us badmaash ka

result nikalne waala hai aur mai aaj hi ek

mahine ke tour par jaa raha hu|"

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Santa- "Meri patni mera itna khyaal rakhti

hai ki kal mehmaano ke vidaa hone ke baad jab

maine usse kaha ki garam paani ka jaldi praband

kare to usi wakt paani garam kar diya|"

Banta- "Waah! Lekin us samay bechaari ko paani

garam karne ka kasht kyu diya?"

Santa- "Kyuki mai thande paani se bartan

nahi dho sakta tha|"

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Hadbadi me kahi jaate dekhkar ek yuvti

ne apne Doctor pita se poocha- "Kya baat hai

papa? Aap itni jaldi me kaha jaa rahe hai?"

Doctor- "Abhi-abhi ek vyakti ka phone aaya tha,

keh raha tha ki haaye, mai mar jaaunga... turant aa jao|"

Navyuvti ne sharmakar kaha- "Papa...vah...vah

phone aapke liye nahi mere liye tha|"

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Putra- "Pitaji, mai nadi me aage jaaunga|"

Pita- "Nahi, doob jaaoge|"

Putra- "Nahi dooboonga, mujhe tairna aata hai|"

Pita- "Yadi doob gaya to ghar jaakar teri khoob pitai karunga|"

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SUHANI KE SUHANE HINDI JOKES-032

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Achaanak bijli chali gayi to mombattiya jala

di gayi| garmi tej thi| isi beech ek mehmaan

ne kaha- "Bhai, pankhe to chala do|"

Mejbaan ne mudkar badi gambheerta se kaha-

"Pankhe chalane se mombattiya bujh jayengi|"

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Ek lamba tagda bahut hi mota vyakti darji ki

dukaan par pahucha|

Darji ne badi kathinayi se naap lekar haafte hue kaha-

"Janaab, is shervani ki silaai ke sau rupaye honge|"

Mota vyakti- "Parantu tumne Telephone par pachas

rupaye bataye the|"

Darji ne pasine pochte hue kaha- "Ji haan bataye to the,

parantu shervani ke bataye the, shaamiyaane ke nahi|"

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Shikshak- "Maan lo, tum jungle me khade ho,

isi beech sher aa jaye to tum kya karoge?"

Chaatra- "Sir, mai kya karunga? Jo kuch karega,

sher hi karega|"

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Chaatra (ganit ke adhyaapak se)- "Sir, hindi waale

Teacher hindi me bolte hai aur angreji waale

angreji me, phir aap ganit me kyu nahi bolte?"

Adhyaapak- "Chup baith jao, jyaada teen paanch karoge

to claas se nau do gyaarah kar dunga|"

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Putra se naaraaj hote hue pita ne kaha- "Nalaayak!

prem-patra maine bhi khoob likhe the magar...|"

Putra- "Magar kya pitaji?"

Pita- "Teri tarah galat vyaakaran nahi

likha karta tha|"

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Putra- "Pitaji, mere liye dhol kharid dijiye|"

Pita- "Kharid sakta hu, par waada karo ki

tum mujhe pareshaan nahi karoge|"

Putra- "nahi pitaji, mai aapko bilkul pareshaan

nahi karunga| Aapke so jaane ke baad

hi use bajaunga|"

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Ladka- "Mai jo kaam karta hu, apne aapko

usme dubokar karta hu|"

Ladki- "To aap baraya meharbaani

jaakar ek kuaa khodiye|"

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Santa- "Doctor saahab! Suna hai aajkal

saap ke kaatne ka ilaaj ho jaata hai?"

Doctor- "Sabka ilaaj ho jaata hai|"

Santa- "Kuch to aisa jaroor hoga,

jiska ilaaj nahi hai?"

Doctor- "Haan! Aurat ke kaatne ka

koi ilaaj nahi hai|"

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Geeta- "Seeta, meri ghadi kho gayi,

kya tumne kahi dekha hai?"

Seeta- "Nahi, chalti thi ya band thi?"

Geeta-"Chalti thi|"

Seeta- "Tab jaroor kahi chalkar gayi hogi|"

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Beta- "Pitaji, koi aaya hai|"

Pita- "Kaun?"

Beta- "Koi mooch waala hai|"

Pita- "Keh do, nahi chahiye|"

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Premi- "He priye, is baar mai pariksha

me fail hona chaahta hu|"

Premika- "Kyu?"

Premi- "Yadi mai first aaya to pitaji ne mujhe

science dilvaane ko kaha hai, second aaya to commerce

dilvayenge, agar third aaya to arts dilvayenge aur

agar fail ho gaya to tumhaare saath shaadi kar denge|"

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Santa- "Doctor saahab, mujhe barabar yahi sapna

dikhta hai ki mere paas se hokar sundar-sundar

ladkiya teji se bhaag rahi hai|"

Doctor- "Usme mujhse kya chaahte ho?"

Santa- "Aap aisi dava deejiye ki ya to un ladkiyo

ki raftaar kuch kam ho jaye ya meri badh jaye|"

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Mahesh- "Mere bhai ka koi baal baanka

nahi kar sakta|"

Kamal- "Kya vah bahut bahaadur hai?"

Mahesh- "Nahi, vah ganja hai|"

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Judge- "Tum sweekar karte ho ki tumne apni patni

ko peeta hai|"

Abhiyukt- "Ji hujoor! Sweekar karta hu|"

Judge- "Thik hai, tum par pachaas rupaye pachaas paise

jurmaana kiya jaata hai|"

Abhiyukt- "Hujoor, pachaas rupaye to samajh me aaye,

lekin pachaas paise kis baat ke?"

Judge- "Vah manoranjan kar hai|"

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Pita- "Dekho beta, tum kabhi shaadi na karna,

yah baad me bahut badi musibat paida kar deti hai|"

Beta- "Haan pitaji, mai kabhi shaadi nahi

karunga aur yahi shiksha apne bete ko bhi dunga|"

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Chaandni raat ke romantic palo me premika ne kaha-

"Kaash! Agle janam me mai chaand banti!"

Premi- "Aur mai chandrama par utarne waala

pehla antriksh yaatri!"

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Pita- "Bete, tumhaare dadaji ne shaadi ki aur pachtaye,

maine shaadi ki aur pachta raha hu, tum kya karoge?"

Beta- "Ji, vansh parampara nibhaunga| Shaadi karunga

aur phir pachtaunga|"

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Santa- "Suna hai, tumhari patni ko naukri mil gayi?"

Banta- "Haa|"

Santa- "Kaam kya karti hai?"

Banta- "Logo ko chadati-utaarti hai|"

Santa ne hairat se poocha- "Kya...?"

Banta ne baat ki safai ki- "Bus conductor ho gayi hai|"

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Bhikhari (apne bete se)- "Bete, yadi hamari saat

laakh ki lottery khul gayi to sabse pehle makaan

kharidunga, phir apne aur tum sabke liye naye-naye

kapde silvaunga| Iske alaava...|"

Beta (pita ki baat beech me kaat ta hua)- "Iske

alaava papa ek car kharid lena| Hum log usme

baithkar bhikh maangne chala karenge, kyunki mai

paidal chalte-chalte thak jaata hu|"

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Bar me ek aadmi ne ek kutte ke saath kadam rakha|

Bartender- "Yah gadha yaha kyu laye ho?"

Aadmi- "Andhe ho kya? Yah tumhe gadha dikhai de raha hai?"

Bartender- "Mai tumse baat nahi kar raha hu,

mai kutte se baat kar raha hu|"

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Workshop me Deviji dheele-dhaale kapde pehankar aayi

to operator ne kaha- "Deviji, ye dheele-dhaale kapde

pehankar na aaya kijiye, machine me fas jaane ka dar hai|"

Deviji- "Janaab, agar mai tight kapde pehankar

aaungi to doosre logo ka machine me fasne ka dar hai|"

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Ek Fauji officer ko kisi lambi duty par desh se

baahar bheja gaya| Jab pardesh me rehte huye bahut

din ho gaye to ek din use ek patra mila jisme likha

tha- "Chalte samay maine aapko jo photo di thi,

vah vaapas kar dijiye, mai bank manager se shaadi

karna chaahti hu|"

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Santa seedi par chade hue ghar ki chat pot rahe

the| Banta vaha aaya|

Banta- "Santa, tumne brush majbooti se

pakda hua hai na?"

Santa- "Haan! Kyu?"

Banta- "Mai thodi der ke liye seedi le jaa raha hu|"

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Putra- "Pitaji, kal maine teen makhiya maari

thi, jinme do maada thi aur ek nar|"

Pita- "Lekin beta, tumhe ye kaise pata chala ki

unme do maada thi aur ek nar?"

Putra- "Badi seedhi-si baat hai, ek makhi

aapki whisky ki botal par baithi thi,

baaki do aaine ke saamne mandra rahi thi|"

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Seeta- "Behan, aajkal to mujhe saari raat jaagna

padta hai, kyuki mere pati beemaar hai|"

Geeta- "To koi nurse kyu nahi rakh leti?"

Seeta- "Nurse rakhi hai isliye to jaagti hu|"

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Yuvak- "Kya aap mere saath dance karengi?"

Yuvti- "Mujhe khed hai, mai bache ke saath dance

nahi kar sakti|"

Yuvak- "Oh! maaf kare, mujhe aapki haalat ka

pata nahi tha|"

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Pappu- "Papa, raat ko maine ek sapna dekha,

aapne mujhe das rupaye diye hai|"

Papa- "Chal aath aana jebkharch kaatkar saadhe

nau rupaye vaapas kar|"

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Patni ka honth upar se thoda kat gaya| Doctor

ne dawai lagaakar taanke laga diye| Pati chupchap

dekhta raha| Phir usne Doctor ke kaan me kaha-

"Doctor saahab, dono hontho ko taanke lagaakar

seene ki aap kitni fees lenge?"

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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Hindi_Jokes

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