Thursday, April 29, 2010

[Hindi_Jokes] SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-51-52-53-54-55-56-57-58-59-60

 

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Bhikhari- "Das paise ka sawaal hai baabu, das paise ka|"

Baabu- "Wo to mai deta hoon, lekin pehle sawaal to poocho|"

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Shikshak- "Kya koi aadmi andhere me bhi dekh sakta hai?"

Ek Chatra- "Haan Sir, meri mummy dekh sakti hai|"

Shikshak- "Kaise?"

Chatra- "Kal raat cinema hall ke andhere me ve papa

se kah rahi thi ki tumhari dhaadi bahut badh gayi hai|"

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Aath saal ki bachi ne apni maa se poocha- "Mummy, Rani Elizabeth ko yah kaise pata chala ki unko bacha hone waala hai?"

Isse pehle ki maa koi jawaab deti, sabse choti bachi kah uthi- "Sabhi akhbaaro me chapa tha ki Rani ko bacha hone waala hai| Kya tum samajhti ho ki Rani akhbaar nahi padti hogi?"

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Bachi ko jor-jor se roti dekhkar maa ne poocha- "kyo roti ho?"

Bachi- "Bhaiya ne meri gudiya tod di|"

Maa- "Kaise? Kaise tod di?"

Bachi- "Maine gudiya uske sir par maari thi?"

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SUHANI KE SUHANE HINDI JOKES-052

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Ek Maa boli- "Galiyo me khel-khelkar bache

kitne gande ho jaate hai|"

Doosri Maa- "Haan, behanji| Ab dekho na,

das bacho ke muh dhone pade, tab kahi

jaakar mai apne guddu ko pehchaan payi|"

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Seeta- "Behan, bartan saaf karne ke liye sabse

achi kaun-si cheej hai?"

Geeta- "Maine bartan saaf karne ke liye bahut-si

cheeje istmaal ki, par pati se acha kisi ko nahi paya|"

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Pati- "Mai ghante-bhar se tumhe samjha raha hoon

aur tumhari samajh me baat nahi aa rahi hai|

Tumhare dimaag me to gobar bhara hua hai|"

Patni- "Aur aap use ghante-bhar se chaat rahe hai|"

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Master- "Rinku, kya kar rahe ho? Padh rahe ho kya?"

Rinku- "Ji nahi Shrimaan, mai apki baat sun raha hu|"

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Ek Sajjan ne ek saat varsheeya ladki se poocha-

"Tumhare baal vaakai bahut sundar hai| Ye tumhe

kisse mile hai, mummy se ya papa se?"

Ladki- "Jaha tak mera khyaal hai, mujhe ye baal mere

papa se mile hai, kyonki unke sir ke saare baal gaayab hai|"

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Patni- "Aap hi is company ki boss hai na?"

Boss ne hairani se poocha- "Are! Aapne kaise anumaan lagaya?"

Patni- "Bahut aasaan tha| Mere pati ghar me bacho ko hansane ke liye aapki hi harkato ki nakal kiya karte hai|"

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School se lautne ke baad Santa ne maa ko bataya-

"Lagta hai, hamari Teacher kabhi nahi nahati|"

Maa- "Tumne aisa kaise samajha?"

Santa- "Vah kah rahi thi ki unhone aaj tak aisa koi

bhi kaam nahi kiya, jo sabke saamne nahi kar sakti|"

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Nanhi bachi- "Dadiji, kya aap acting bhi karti hai?"

Dadi- "Nahi to, lekin kyo?"

Bachi- "Subah maa pitaji se kah rahi thi ki yadi aap yaha rahi to drama to jaroor hoga|"

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Maa- "Itne dino se tum apne premi ke saath ghoom

rahi ho, vah shaadi ke liye kuch nahi bolta,

aakhir vah chahta kya hai?"

Beti- "Pata nahi maa, jyada samay vah mujhe

andhere me hi rakhta hai|"

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Bus Driver Ramu ko apni seat par baitha dekhkar

bola- "Are, utho shaitaan, meri seat par kyo baitha hai?"

Ramu- "Driver uncle, mai sabse pehle aaya tha|"

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Jigyasu bache ne poocha- "Mummy, aap papa ko kaha mili?"

Maa- "Ek picnic me|"

Bacha- "Kya mai aapke saath tha?"

Maa- 'Nahi, jab gayi thi to tum nahi the,

lekin jab mai lauti to tum saath aaye the|"

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Adhyapika- "Jo kaam tumne nahi kiya, uske liye

tumhe saja bhi nahi milegi|"

Rinki- "Dhanyavad Madam, aaj mai homework bhool gayi hoon|"

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Adhyapak- "Kya tum kisi badi ladai ke baare me jaante ho?

Ramesh- "Ji haan, lekin baat yah hai ki mummy ne ghar ki baate baahar batane se mana kiya hai|"

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Master- "Rakesh, suna hai, tumhare ghar me naya baby aaya hai?"

Rakesh- "Ji, naya kyo kehte hai aap? Jab rota hai

to aisa lagta hai ki barso se rona seekhta raha hai|"

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Maa- "Rinku, tum bure bacho ke saath kyo khelte ho,

ache bacho ke saath kyo nahi khelte?"

Rinku- "Maa, un ache bacho ki maatao ne apne

bacho ko mere saath khelne se mana kar diya hai|"

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Ek school me teen bhai padhte the| Inspector ne muaayne ke waqt sabse chote bhai se poocha- "Tumhare bhaiyo ke mooche nahi hai, par tumhare kyo hai, jabki tum sabse chote ho?"

Chote bhai ne jawaab diya- "Meri shakal Papa par hai aur un dono ki shakal Maa par|"

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Praathmik upchar ki pariksha chal rahi thi| Parikshak ne ek vidhyarthi se poocha- "Agar sadak par koi behosh pada aadmi dikh jaye, to aap kya karenge?"

Santa- "Mai use thodi-si brandy doonga|"

Parikshak- "Yadi us waqt aapke paas brandy na ho tab?"

Santa- "To brandy dene ka aashvasan doonga|"

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Ek Chote ladke ne apne adhyapak ko chunauti dete huye poocha- "Agar George Washington sachmuch ek imaandaar vyakti the, to unke janamdin par banko ko kyo band rakha jaata hai?"

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Master- "Batao, gadhe aur manushya me kya fark hai?"

Vidhyarthi- "Manushya ko gadha kaha ja sakta hai,

parantu gadhe ko manushya nahi kaha ja sakta|"

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Adhyapak- "Bacho, mil-julkar kaam karna achi baat hai|"

Chaatra- "Lekin sir, pariksha me aap hi hame mil-julkar kaam nahi karne dete|"

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Santa- "Maine talaak dene ki or pehla kadam utha liya hai|"

Banta- "Vah kaise?"

Santa- "Maine shaadi kar li hai|"

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Train me saamne ki seat par baithe pati chew gum chaba rahe the| Kaafi der baad saamne ki seat par baithi unki patni boli- "Darling, I am sorry, tum itni der se mujhse bole ja rahe ho, par mai jawaab nahi de rahi hoon| Mere beherepan me yahi to musibat hai, jara jor-jor se bole|"

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Pati- "Abhi Reena ki shaadi ki jaldi hi kya hai?

Bahut samay pada hai| Jab tak koi acha ladka na mil jaye, tab tak hame pratiksha karni chahiye|"

Patni- "Pratiksha bhi kab tak ki ja sakti hai, jab mai

Reena ki umra ki thi, tab mere ghar waalo ne hi acha

ladka talaash karne ki koshish kaha ki thi|"

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Maa- "Beta, tumhaara office ka kaam kaisa chal raha hai| Sab thik to hai na?"

Beta- "Mere neeche pachees aadmi kaam karte hai maa|"

Maa khushi se- "To kya mera beta vaha bada

Officer ban gaya hai?"

Beta- "Nahi! Darahsal mai Upri manjil me kaam karta hoon|"

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Ek nai-nai dulhan ne apne pati se poocha- "Yadi mai kabhi moti ho jau to kya tab bhi tum mujhe chahte rahoge?"

Pati- "Kabhi nahi| Maine kewal ache-bure dino me saath dene ka vachan diya hai| Mote-patle ki koi baat nahi hui thi|"

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Putra- "Papa! Sadak banane me kin-kin cheejo ki jarurat hoti hai?"

Pita- "Aaj to sawaal pooch-poochkar tune tang hi kar dala, yadi itne hi sawaal maine apne papa se kiye hote to kya hota batao?"

Putra- "Aapko mere sawaalo ke jawaab dene aa jaate|"

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Santa- "Ab mai kisi ladki ke saamne shaadi ki

baat nahi rakhunga|"

Banta- "Kyo... Kya phir kisi ne mana kar diya?"

Santa- "Nahi yaar, ek ladki ne sweekar kar liya hai|"

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Office me patni ki chithi aayi| Apne maayke se bheji thi| Pati ka mitra patra me jhaankne laga to pati ne liphapha uske saamne daal diya- "Lo, padh lo|"

Mitra ne dekha to chaukkar bola- "Isme to saada kaagaj hai yaar|"

Pati- "Haan| Aajkal hamaari bolchaal band hai|

Vah jhagda karke ghar se gayi hai|"

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Premi- "Chalo, cinema chalte hai| Pichli seat

ka ticket le lenge|"

Premika- "Agar pichli seat ka ticket na mila to?"

Premi- "To phir film hi dekh lenge|"

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Patni pyaar se- "Khaana ban gaya hai| Garm-garm

phulke khakar jaaiye|"

Pati- "Burnol (antiseptic cream) hai ghar me?"

Patni- "Haan|"

Pati- "Phir to kha lunga|"

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Ek vidhwa ne apne swargiya pati ki kabra par lage pathar par likhvaya- "Yaha aaraam karta hai vah pati,

jo apni patni ke liye paanch laakh rupye chod gaya aur jisne shehar ke saare patiyo ke liye ek misaal chodi|"

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Santa- "Jis din meri patni aayi usi din mera

khajaanchi mere kuch rupaye lekar bhaag gaya|"

Banta- "Tum nahi jaante ki musibat kabhi

akele nahi aati|"

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Ek khoobsurat stree jaasusi upanyaas padte-padte

apne pati se poochne lagi- "yadi koi khoobsurat

ladka mujhe bhagakar le jaye to tum kya karoge?"

Pati- "Mai usse kahunga, khuda ke bande, bhagakar

le jaane ki kya jarurat hai, aaram se le jao|"

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Ek pustak ke pehle panne par likha hai- "Mohabbat ke maare ko aatmahatya se rokne ka sabse aasaan upaay hai, shaadi|"

Aur usi pustak ke sabse aakhiri panne par likha hai- "shaadi se bachne ka bas ek hi upaay hai aur vah hai aatmahatya|"

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Maa- "Beta, koyle nahi hai, roti kaise banegi?"

Beta- "Chaaval bana lena, maa|"

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Seeta- "Hamaare ghar me saara saamaan imported

yaani videshi hai|"

Geeta- "Aur aapke pati...?"

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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Hindi_Jokes

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