Wednesday, April 28, 2010

[Hindi_Jokes] SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-41-42-43-44-45-46-47-48-49-50

 

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Baap- "Andhera hone se pehle ghar aa jaana|"

Beti- "Lekin papa, ab mai bachi nahi hu|"

Baap- "Mujhe maaloom hai| isliye mai tumhe keh

raha hu ki andhera hone se pehle ghar aa jaana|"

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Santa- "Kuwara hone se jyaada buri baat

kya ho sakti hai?"

Banta- "Kuware ka ladka hona|"

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Santa- "Meri patni bahut jhooth bolti hai| kal teen

ghante ghar se gaayab rahi| vapsi par mujhe bataya ki

vah apni saheli geeta ke saath film dekhne gayi thi|"

Banta- "Magar tumhe kaise pata chala ki vah

jhooth bol rahi thi?"

Santa- "Us samay geeta ke saath mai film dekh raha tha|"

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Premi- "Mai tumse pyaar karta hu salma|"

Premika- "Meri ammi is pyaar-mohabbat ko thik

nahi samajhti|"

Premi- "Are gajab khuda ka... mai tumhari ammi

se pyaar nahi karta|"

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SUHANI KE SUHANE HINDI JOKES-042

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Ek paadri ne ek sunder yuvti se kaha- "Raat mai

poore teen ghante tak tumhaare liye dua karta raha|"

Yuvti- "Aapne bekaar itna kasht uthaaya| Agar

aap dua ki jagah mujhe phone bhi kar dete to mai

paanch minute me aapke paas pahunch jaati|"

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Ramesh- "Aajkal to har cheej ki kifaayat ho rahi hai|"

Dinesh- "Yaar, vah kaise?"

Ramesh- "Hamaare pados me ek dropadi aunty rehti

hai, magar unka ek hi pati hai|"

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Kabaadi- "Bahanji, puraana ya raddi maal hai kya?"

Gruhni- "Ve baahar gaye hai| Lautkar aaye tab aana|"

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Seeta- "Aaj mere pati ka janamdin hai, samajh me

nahi aa raha hai ki unhe kya uphaar du?"

Geeta- "Uphaar apni pasand ka dena chahti ho

ya unki pasand ka?"

Seeta- "Unki pasand ka| Aakhir unka janamdin hai|"

Geeta- "Talaak de do|"

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Pita- "To ab tum samajh gaye ki Raja aur Raashtrapati me kya antar hai?"

Putra- "Haa pitaji| Raja to apne mann ka maalik

hai aur Raashtrapati nahi hai|"

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Pita- "Tum hi vah bahadur naujavaan ho, jisne mere

ladke ko nadi me doobne se bachaya tha?"

Naujavaan- "Ji haan, lekin isme fikra ki kya baat hai?"

Pita- "Fikra ki baat kaise nahi hai?

Uski topi kahaan hai?"

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Police- "Jab mai paida hua tha to Military waalo ne

ikkees tope chalai thi|"

Chor- "Kamaal hai! Sabka nishaana chook gaya?"

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Fire brigade kaaryalay me Netaji ka phone aaya

Netaji- "Jaldi aaye! Hamari party ke daftar me

aag lag gayi hai|"

Fire brigade waale ravaana hone hi lage the ki unhi

Netaji ka phir phone aaya- "Jaldi aane ki koi jarurat

nahi| Jab ji chahe, aaye| Maine vo party chod di hai|"

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Ek aadmi ki patni mar gayi| Shavdaah ke dauraan patni ka

ek premi badi jor-jor se hichkiya le-lekar rone laga| Pati kuch shan dekhta raha, lekin jab premi ka rona band nahi

hua to vah uske paas pahucha aur saantvanapurna swar me bola-

"Hausla rakho bhai| Mai jaldi hi doosri shaadi kar lunga|"

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Ticket checker- "Haan, bhai saahab, aapka ticket?"

Yaatri- "Ye lijiye do ticket|"

Checker- "Aapke saath aur kaun hai?"

Yaatri- "Saahab, mai bilkul akela hoon|"

Checker- "To phir yah doosra ticket kiske liye hai?"

Yaatri- "Ji, kahi pehla ticket kho jaye, to doosra kaam

aa jayega aur is prakaar jurmana nahi hoga|"

Checker- "Lekin agar dono kho jaye to?"

Yaatri- "Ussi sthiti se bachne ke liye maine all route paas banvaya hua hai|"

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Master- "Deepu, aadamkhor kaun hota hai?"

Deepu- "Mujhe nahi maaloom, master saahab|"

Master- "Agar tum maa-baap ko kha jao to tum kya kehlaoge?"
Deepu- "Yateem|"

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Adyapak- "Gopal batao, Rekha kise kehte hai?"

Gopal- "Ji, meri badi didi ko|"

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Premi- "Darling, ye soot jo maine pehna hua hai,

Traveling soot hai|"

Premika- "Kaise?"

Premi- "Sabse pehle ise mere dada ne pehna,

phir mere papa ne, ab ise mai pehan raha hoon|"

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Premika- "Chalte waqt tumhara joota bahut shor

machata hai, shaayad yah chori ka hai?"

Premi- "Agar aisa hota to coat, patloon tatha

hat se bhi aisi aawaje nikalti|"

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Pita (gusse se)- "Car ka kya karega? Ishwar ne

do taange kisliye di hai?"

Beta- "Break aur eksilator dabane ke liye|"

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Pati- "Kya baat hai, aadhe ghante me hi phone rakh diya,

baatein karne ko aaj koi topic nahi tha kya?"

Patni- "Wrong number lag gaya tha ji, koi sarla thi|

jaan na pehchaan, usse kya baatein karti?"

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Inspector- "Jis aadmi ne tumhe maara-pita,

kya tum uska huliya bayaan kar sakte ho?"

Santa- "Inspector saahab, mai uska huliya hi to

bayaan kar raha tha ki usne mujhe peetna shuru kar diya|"

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Ek aadmi- "Tumhara is ladke se kya rishta hai?"

Ladka- "Ji! bahut door ka rishta hai|"

Aadmi- "Phir bhi kya rishta hai?"

Ladka- "Ji! vah mera saga bhai hai|"

Aadmi- "To tum ise door ka rishta kyu batate ho?"

Ladka- "kyuki iske aur mere beech saat bhai aur hai|"

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Ek sharabi airport ke baahar khada tha|

Ek vardhidhaari yuvak udhar se gujra|

Sharabi- "Abe! ek Taxi le aao|"

Yuvak- "Andhe ho kya? Mai Pilot hoon,

Taxi Driver nahi|"

Sharabi- "To naraz kyu hote ho, ek Jumbo Jet le aao|"

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Saali- "Abhi-abhi maine sapna dekha ki mujhe naukri

mil gayi hai aur mai duty se vaapas aayi hoon|"

Jija- "Isliye tum thaki-thaki najar aa rahi ho|"

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Ek mahila ki aankh sooji thi|

Padosan- "Kya hua?"

Mahila- "Mere pati ne maara|"

Padosan- "Lekin mera khyaal tha ki tumhare pati

Mumbai gaye hue hai|"

Mahila- "Mera bhi yahi khyaal tha|"

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Sohan- "Meri lakdi ki taang mujhe bahut dukh de rahi hai|"

Ramu- "Kamaal hai| Lakdi ki taang tumhe kaise

dukh de sakti hai?"

Sohan- "Aaj meri biwi ne vah taang mere sir par maar di|"

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Teacher- "Mujhe hairani hai ki tum akele itni

saari galtiya karte ho|"

Ladka- "Ye saari galtiya maine akele nahi ki sir,

mere papa ne bhi isme meri sahayta ki hai|"

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Chota bacha pehle din school gaya| Shaam ko lauta to maa ne poocha- "School kaisa laga?"

Bacha- "School bada acha tha, parantu hamari teacher ko to kuch bhi nahi aata| Aaj mujhse hi poochne lagi ki ek aur ek kitne hote hai, tab mujhe batana pada unhe|"

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Santa- "Mujhe lakhpati banane ka shrey meri patni ko hai|"

Banta- "Acha! Aap pehle kya the?"

Santa- "Crorepati|"

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Santa- "Kyu bhai, tumhare ghar me to naukrani thi|

Pehle vahi bartan maanjti thi, aaj tum khud bartan kyu maanj rahe ho?"

Banta- "Maine usse shaadi jo kar li hai|"

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Bandook chalane ki training di ja rahi thi|

Bandook ki goliya nishaane se idhar-udhar ja rahi thi|

Shikshak cheekha- "Kya kar rahe ho, goliya kaha ja rahi hai?"

Vidhyarthi ne upar dekha aur bola- "Jara dekhiye,

kaha ja rahi hai? Meri bandook se to thik hi nikal rahi hai|"

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Pati-patni jhagad rahe the|

Pati- "Tumne to mujhe kutta samajh rakha hai|"

Patni- "Bilkul nahi| Ab bhagwan ke liye bhaukna band karo|"

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Doctor ne rogi ke seene ki jaanch stethoscope se shuru ki hi thi ki unki dukaan me baithe ek baalak ne apni maa se poocha- "Doctor saahab, yah kya kar rahe hai?"

Maa- "Vah uske shareer ke bheetar telephone karke pooch rahe hai ki andar kya-kya marj hai?"

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Santa- "Meri Priya se mangni toot gayi hai|

Usne mujhse shaadi karne se inkaar kar diya hai|"

Banta- "Tumne use apne lakhpati chacha ke baare

me nahi bataya?"

Santa- "Bataya tha|...Ab vah meri chachi hai|"

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Seeta ne apni saheli Geeta ko apne mangetar se milaya to Geeta boli- "Ladka to thik hai, lekin jab hansta hai to uske ubad-khabad daant bade bure lagte hai|"

Seeta- "To kya hua? Shaadi ke baad mai use

hansne ka mauka kab doongi?"

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Ek ladka baal pustakaalay ki adhyaksha ke paas

pahuncha aur chillakar bola- "Ai aurat,

mujhe taur-tarike sikhaane waali pustak do|"

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Do Neta jhagad rahe the to ek gusse me bola-

"Mujhe maloom hai, tum kiske haatho ki

katputli ho, kaun tumhe nacha raha hai?"

Doosra Neta phunkara- "Khabardar| Jo raajnaitik

bahas me meri biwi ko ghasita to acha nahi hoga|"

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Santa- "Meri patni ko make up me bada waqt lagta hai|"

Banta- "Bura kya hai?"

Santa- "Jis din picture dekhne jaana hota hai,

mai subah patni se taiyaar hone ke liye bol deta

hoon aur second show ka ticket book kara leta hu|"

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Maa- "Tum bilkul naalayak ho| Apne pita se hi

tumhe kuch seekh lena chahiye|"

Santa- "Maa, unhone aisa kaun-sa kamaal kar diya hai?"

Maa- "Acha, tumhe maaloom nahi! Ache chaal-chalan

ke kaaran jail waalo ne unki saja maaf kar di|"

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'Bharat ek hai|' Vishay par ek netaji apne bhaashan

me bole- "Sajjano, jab mai Punjab gaya to waha log

mujhe dekhkar hansne lage| Jab mai Maharashtra gaya to waha bhi log mujhe dekhkar hansne lage| Jab mai Karnataka gaya to waha bhi log mujhe dekhkar hansne lage| Isse spasht sidh hota hai ki Bharat ek hai|"

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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Hindi_Jokes

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