*-*-*-*-*-*- Film ke parde par ek dardnaak scene chal raha tha| Achanak hero ne heroin ke gaal par ek thappad maar diya to heroin uska pair thaamkar rone lagi| Tabhi picture hall me ek aavaaj goonji- "Mummy! Yah tumhari tarah ulatkar hero ko chaata kyo nahi maar rahi?" *-*-*-*-*-*- Premi- "Meri jaan! Mai Shahrukh khan ki tarah crorepati hero to nahi| Mere paas kothi, car kuch bhi nahi| Bas kewal pyaar bhara dil hai| Mujhse shaadi karogi na?" Premika- "Shaadi jaroor karoongi, par tumse nahi *-*-*-*-*-*- Ek stree- "Doctor saahab! Jab aap mujhe dekhe to nurse ko bhi bheetar bula le|" Doctor- "Kya aapko mujh par vishvaas nahi hai?" Stree- "Ji, aapke upar to hai, par baahar baithe *-*-*-*-*-*- Doctor- "Dekhiye, is thermometer ko apni patni ke muh me jubaan ke neeche rakh deejiye aur unse kahiye ki do minute muh na khole|" Pati- "Doctor saahab! Kam-se-kam do ghante waala *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Premi apni premika ko shikaar ke kaarnaame sunate huye- "Are! us waqt to haalat yah thi ki maroonga ya sher mare, dono me se to ek ka marna jaroori tha|" Premika- "Chalo acha hua ki sher mar *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Kya baat hai, tumhari patni abhi tak nahi aayi?" Banta- "Ho sakta hai, uska apharan kar liya ho ya durghatna ki chapet me aa gayi ho ya kahi kharidaari me lagi ho| Ishwar se yahi praarthna hai ki vah kharidaari me na lagi ho|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Premi- "Telephone va shaadi me bahut samaanta hai?" Premi- "Shaadi me ichit paatra nahi milta aur *-*-*-*-*-*- Premika- "Mai kisi aise vyakti se shaadi nahi karoongi, jo jhooth bolta ho|" Premi- "Tab to tum saari umra kuwaari rahogi|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Premi- "Mujhe rupyo ki bahut sakht jaroorat hai| Premika- "Rupyo ki to mujhe bhi jaroorat hai|" Premika- "Hua to kuch nahi, tumhi ko dene ke *-*-*-*-*-*- Premi- "Raani, tumne mujhe dharti ka sabse Premika- "Bas dharti ka? Parso jis naujavaan se meri mulakaat hui thi, vah to saatve aasmaan par pahuch *-*-*-*-*-*- Premika ka baap- "Mai nahi chahta ki meri ladki jindagi-bhar kisi gadhe ke saath jeevan bitaye|" Premi- "Tabhi to mai aapse aapki ladki ka *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Yaar, meri patni mujhse kabhi baat nahi karti|" Banta- "Meri patni to karti hai|" Banta- "Har mahine ki pehli taareekh ko|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati garv se- " Patni (maatha peete hue)- "Lo aur ek mai hoon ki aaj tak bhagwaan ko dosh de rahi thi|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati- "Mujhe itna na satao darling, mere dimaag Patni- "Oh! Tabhi to mai soch rahi thi ki uple jalne ki gandh kaha se aa rahi hai?" *-*-*-*-*-*- Maayke gayi hui patni ne pati ko patra likha- "Priy, pandrah din me tumhaare viyog me aadhi rah gayi hoon, Pati ne uttar diya- "Priyatama, pandrah din ke baad|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati- "Aaj tum mujhe bhulakkad nahi kah sakti, kyoki aaj tum bhi apna chaata bus me bhoolkar aa rahi thi| Mai tumhara bhi chaata utha laaya aur apna bhi|" Patni- "Par shreemaan, aaj to ham dono hi *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Ek andhe ne ek stree se shaadi kar li| Stree- "Kaash! Tum meri sundarta dekh sakte to tum Andhe pati- "Bhaagyavaan! Yadi tum sundar hoti to *-*-*-*-*-*- Premi ne akasmaat light off kar di to premika ne ghabraakar kaha- "Mujhe andhkaar se dar lagta hai|" Premi- "Dar kis baat ka, mai tumhaare saath hoon|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Ek abhineta ko moorkh ka part ada karna tha| Usne director se salaah li- "Mujhe moorkh dikhne ke liye Director- "Kuch nahi, jaise dikhte ho, thik dikhte ho|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Mitra- "Aap pati-patni itni der se lad rahe hai, aakhir is jhagde ka kya kaaran hai?" Pati- "Yah to deviji hi jaane|" Patni- "Wah! Teen ghante se jyaada ho gaye hame jhagadte huye| Itni der tak mujhe yaad rahega *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Meri premika ki maang itni galat thi ki *-*-*-*-*-*- Patni- "Tumhe to nark me bhi jagah nahi milegi|" Pati- "Achaa hai! rehte-rehte mai to paagal ho jaata|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Ek ganje smuggler pati apni patni se badi shekhi baghaar rahe the- "Duniya ka koi kaam aisa nahi Patni- "Aap kanghi nahi kar sakte|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Tajmahal dekhne ke baad ek patni ne apne pati se poocha- "Agar mai mar gayi to kya aap meri yaad me itna hi sundar mahal bana sakte ho?" Pati- "Kyo nahi, tum chaho to markar dekh lo|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Patni- "Kal mai gulaab ke phool ke print waali saadi pehankar club gayi thi| Sabhi taareef kar rahe the| Aapne taareef me ek shabd bhi nahi kaha|" Pati- "Shaayad ve log bhool gaye ki gulaab ke phool ke saath kaante bhi hote hai|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati- "Mai mahamoorkh tha, jo tumse shaadi ki|" Patni- "Yah to mai bhi jaanti thi, lekin mera khyaal tha ki shaadi ke baad tum sudhar jaoge|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Pita- "Acha batao, namak kaha paaya jaata hai?" Beta- 'Ji, pansaari ki dukaan par|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Ek Daaku ne ek vyaapaari ki hatya kar di aur uski laash par ek parcha chipka diya- "Ek shetra me do *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Ladka- "Saahab, aapki ladki ne mujhse shaadi karne ka phaisla kar liya hai|" Ladki ke pita- "To mai kya karoon| Galti tumhari apni hai| Tumhi din-raat uske aage peeche firte the| Ab bhugto|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Shikshak- "Suresh, naagrik aur naagrikta me kya antar hai?" Suresh- "Sir, naagrik me 'ta' lagne se 'naagrikta' *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati ne khaana khaate samay apni patni se kaha- "Tumne jo sabji banai, agar chaar guna jyaada Patni- "Kyo, kya sabji bahut achi bani hai?" Pati- "Nahi, isme tumne jitna namak daala hai, uske hisaab se keh raha hoon|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Patni- "Mai paanch ghanto se tumhari prateeksha Pati- "Aur mai paanch ghanto se is intjaar me baahar khada tha ki tum so jao to mai bheetar aau|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Ek aadmi ki arthi ko kuch log ambulance yaani shav vaahan me le ja rahe the, lekin motor chalaakar nahi, balki dhakka dekar le ja rahe the| Ek aadmi ne poocha- " Doosre ne jawaab diya- "Har haal me petrol ki bachat|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Adhyapak- "Bhagwaan kaha rehte hai?" Surendra- "Hamare gusalkhaane me|" Surendra- "Aaj subah meri mummy gusalkhaane ke darwaaje par khadi keh rahi thi, he bhagwaan abhi aur kitni der andar rahoge|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Pichli baar aap ghode par kab baithe the?" Banta- "Kareeb paanch saal pehle| Apni shaadi *-*-*-*-*-*- Adhyapak- "Tum bade gande rehte ho, gandgi manushya ke swaasth ki kattar shatru hai|" Vidhyaarthi- "Sir, aapne hi to kaha tha ki *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Adhyapak- "Batao, Bharat me kitne gulaam hai?" Mahesh- "Paan ka gulaam, cidi ka gulaam, hukum ka gulaam aur eent ka gulaam|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati- "Mere marne ki khabar sabse pehle kisko dogi?" *-*-*-*-*-*- Nyaayadhish- "Tumne raamdeen ki jeb se ghadi Chor- "Bahut khoob! dekar seekha hai, muft me kaise batau|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Judge- "Bolte kyo nahi, kya goonge ho gaye?" Apraadhi- "Sarkaar! Mai to janam se hi goonga hoon|" *-*-*-*-*-*-
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