*-*-*-*-*-*- Ek premi jhijhakta hua apni premika ke baap ke paas pahuncha aur bola- "Mai aapki ladki ka Ladki ka pita- "Sirf haath nahi milega| Maangni hai to poori ladki maango|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Ramesh- "Mummy! Hamari padosan ka naam bhi ajeeb hai|" Maa- "Kyo... Lata naam me kya kharabi hai?" Ramesh- "Par mummy! Daddy to use darling kehkar *-*-*-*-*-*- Mareej- "Mai vaastav me hi apne heart operation ki baat sochkar nervous hua ja raha hoon doctor|" Surgeon- "Nervous hone ki aavashyakta nahi| Aaj tak mere operationo me sirf ek hi mareej ki maut huyi hai|" Mareej- "Aaj tak aap kitne mareejo ke operation *-*-*-*-*-*- Dosto ki mehfil se bahut jaldi uth jaane par santa ko unke dosto ne taana diya- "Patni ka aisa bhi kya dar, tum aadmi ho ya choohe?" Santa- "Aadmi, choohe se to meri patni darti hai|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Jo cheej maangte ho, yah kutta laakar de deta hai... Phir aap ise kyo bech rahe hai?" Banta- "Kya karoon? Ek din hamare ghar me chor aaye to yah haraamjaada lalten lekar unhe *-*-*-*-*-*- Patni- "haaN, Patni- "Ji, mai talaak ka kharcha bardaash karne *-*-*-*-*-*- Patni- "Kyo ji! Agar mai rasoiye ko hataakar kal se aapko apne haath ka khaana khilau to mujhe kya milega?" Pati- "Meri beema policy ki poori rakam|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati- "Mere marne ke baad tum saamne waale guptaji Patni- "Kya keh rahe hai aap? Guptaji to aapke Pati- "Haan, mai unse badla lena chahta hoon|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Ek kanjoos seth jab marne ko hua to ek rishtedaar ne kaha- "Ab to aap mar hi rahe hai| Jaate-jaate samaaj ke liye kuch de jaaiye|" Seth- "Aur kya doon? Ab jaan to de raha hoon|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Chota bacha- "Mere pita branch manager hai|" Bhoodhi mahila- "Sachmuch? Chota bacha- "Ve pedo ki shaakhao ki dekhbhaal karte hai| *-*-*-*-*-*- Paagalkhaane me ek baar charcha chid gayi- Kaafi ho-halle ke baad yah tay hua ki sabse bada Doosra paagal- "Are! acha bhalaa hokar bhi paagalo *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Kya tumhara patni se hamesha matbhed rehta hai?" Banta- "Haan, sirf ek baar nahi raha|" Banta- "Jab ghar me aag lagi thi to ham dono ek hi darwaaje se baahar nikle the|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Adhyapak- "Tinka ka bahuvachan kya hai?" *-*-*-*-*-*- Seth bholaram ke pet ke upar se chooha nikal Patni- "Isme itna chillane ki kya baat hai?" Sethji- "Aaj to chooha gujra hai, kal haathi, ghode, bail, motor sabhi gujar sakte hai, is tarah to mera pet aam raasta ban jaayega|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Seeta- "Aajkal mere pitaji ke aage sab sir jhukaate hai|" Seeta- "Unhone hajjaam ka kaam shuru kar diya hai|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Pita- "Beta, tumhe kitni baar samjhaya ki vah sachmuch ka sher nahi tasveer hai| Phir kyo ghabraate ho?" Beta- "Mai ghabrata nahi pitaji, par mujhe yah chinta bani rehti hai ki vah bechara bhookha hoga|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Yaatri- "Are bhai, yaha paas me koi kabristaan hai?" Yaatri- "Kamaal hai, to phir rail ki pratiksha karte samay jo log mar jaate hai, unka kya kiya jaata hai?" *-*-*-*-*-*- Premika- "Mera khyaal hai ki ab hame shaadi kar Premi- "Kya mai tumhe hasta hua acha nahi lagta?" *-*-*-*-*-*- Premika ki maa- "Meri putri badi vishaal hradya hai|" Premi- "Haan, aap thik kehti hai, mai apne alaava uske pyaar ke do aur afsaane sun chuka hoon|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Patni ne padosiyo ke baare me pati se poocha- Pati- "Bahut upyukt hai| Pati kharraate bharta *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Premi- "Tum mere hote huye kisi bhi chor ya gunde Premi- "Nahi, mai daud me champion hoon| Aisa koi khatra hua to mai bhaagkar police ko soochit kar doonga|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Premi- "Aaj meri kisi ne jeb kaat li|" Premika- "To police me report karo|" Premi- "Lekin galti kar di maine|" Premi- "Jeb kaatne ke turant baad *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Tumhari patni jab kisi vishay par charcha karti hai to aant me kaun bolta hai?" Banta- "Tu jeeti, mai haara, ab bas kar|' *-*-*-*-*-*- Patni pati se jhallakar- "Mai poochti hoon, shaadi ke baad tumne kaun-se sukh diye hai?" Pati- "He bhagwan! Do bache de diye aur kya chahiye?" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Premi ke maathe par pattiya bandhi huyi thi| Uske mitra ne poocha- "Are yaar! Yah kya hua?" Premi- "Kuch nahi dost| Meena ne mere diye hue phool mere maathe par de maare|" Mitra- "Lekin phoolo se itni chot nahi lag sakti|" Premi- "Kyo nahi lag sakti, phool phooldaan me jo the|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Restaurant me baithe huye ek premi ne apni premika se poocha- "Kaho, kya mangvaaya jaye?" Premika- "Mere liye coffee aur apne liye ambulance, kyoki darwaaje par mere pitaji khade hai|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Daftar me aayi nayi typist ne doosre kone me baithi ek khoobsoorat ladki se poocha- "Tum hamesha nithalli kyo baithi rehti ho?" Khoobsoorat ladki- "Boss ko yahi pasand hai| Mera vibhaag shikaayato ka vibhaag hai|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Premika- " Premi- "Isliye to *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Fauji adaalat ke saamne kaptaan aur havaldaar ka Judge- "Kyo havaldaar, tumne kaptaan saahab ko kya gaali di?" Havaldaar- "Ji, ulloo, gadha, paaji kaha|" Havaldaar -"Ji, kaptaan saahab ne mujhe poocha tha ki tu mujhe kya samajhta hai, *-*-*-*-*-*- Patni- "Aapka yah suite phat Pati- "Nahi rehne do| Income tax me katauti karaane ke samay ise pehankar jaaunga|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati- "Shaadi se pehle to mai hukm ka baadshah tha|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Patni- "Kaash! Kam-se-kam tum mera dhyaan rakhte|" Pati- "Bhai, koshish to poori karta hoon ki tumhara *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati ne patni ko uski saalgirah par heero ka haar bhent me diya| kuch sochkar pati se boli- "Aapne to is saalgirah par mere liye car kharidne ka vaada kiya tha|" Pati- "Kharid to deta, magar kya karoon, nakli *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Ghar ka maalik kaise bane? Naamak kitaab se koi laab pahuncha?" Banta- "Meri patni vah kitaab mujhe padhne hi *-*-*-*-*-*- Patni ne apne pati ko bade garv se bataya- "Jab meri car telephone ke khambe se takra gayi, to police waale ne badi shishtta se mujhse kaha ki yadi aap aagya de to mai shehar ke saare telephone ke khambe hatva doon|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Mahima- "Ve kaun log hai, jo pustak vikreta ko *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Ghar ke kalah hone ke baad pati ne gusse me pankhe se rassi ka phanda latkaaya aur stool par cadhkar phanda daalne ko taiyaar ho gaye| Patni- "Jo kuch karna hai, jaldi karo|" Pati- "Tum mujhe shaanti se marne do|" Patni- "Mujhe stool ki sakht jaroorat hai|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Premi- "Hamari mulakaat to abhi teen din ki hai aur tumne mujhse vivaah karne ka faisla kar liya?" Premika- "Lekin mai us bank me teen saal se hoon, *-*-*-*-*-*- Ajay- "Reena, kal raat mai badi der tak tumhare paas baitha raha tha| Mere jaane ke baad maa ne pitaji se koi shikayat to nahi ki thi?" Reena- "Ki thi, vah pitaji se keh rahi thi, sabhi mard ek jaise hote hai| Yah baat aaj bhi utni hi sach hai jitni hamare jamaane me thi|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Paanch minute me apne shabd waapas lo, Banta- "Aur paanch minute me shabd waapas na loon to?" Santa- "Acha tumhi batao, tumhe is kaam ke *-*-*-*-*-*-
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