*-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Yaar, tune us daulatmand vidhva ko mohabbat ke jaal me kaise fasa liya?" Banta- "Badi aasani se| keval bees mombattiya jala di thi|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Eh haathi ne jindagi me pehli baar chooha dekha| Haathi- "Tumhari kya umra hai?" Haathi- "Umra to meri bhi ek saal hai, lekin tum to bahut chote ho, yaar|" Chooha- "Darahsal mai teen-chaar din se beemaar chal raha hoon|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Sadak ke beechobeech khadi ek mahila ne Traffic ke sipahi se poocha- "Havaldaar saahab| Mai yaha se aspataal kaise pahuch sakti hoon?" Sipahi- "Jaha aap khadi hai| Thodi der aur khadi rahiye|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati- "Mujhe door ki cheej saaf dikhai nahi deti| Sochta hoon, chashma banva lu|" Patni- "Bekaar paise nasht mat karo|" Patni- "Isliye ki muhalle me mujhse sunder doosri *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati- "Darling, jara haluye ki ek plate aur dena|" Patni- "To aapko mere haath ka haluaa bahut pasand aaya?" Pati- "Nahi, yah baat nahi, darahsal mai usse apna ek parcel chipkana chahta hoon|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Patni- "Meri bas ek hi praarthna hai ki yadi tum doosri shaadi karo to us nayi dulhan ko mere kapde aur joote pehanne ke liye mat dena|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati- "Lekin mujhme tumhe hotel le jaane jitni taakat nehi hai| Aaj mai bahut thak *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Meri patni ne motapa kam karne ke liye Santa- "Haan, pharsh par gaddhe pad gaye hai| Ek katta cement ka kharch badh *-*-*-*-*-*- Seeta- "Mrs. Verma ko kaddu bahut priy hai| Jab dekho unka naukar kaddu kharid kar le jaata hai|" Geeta- "Magar ve kaddu khati nahi hai| Phir|" Seeta- "Use ve baalo me rakhkar jooda banati hai|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Seeta- "Mujhe aisa pati chahiye, jo meri har baat maane| Matlab koi kaagaj mai uske saamne rakhu, vo aankh moondkar us par dastakhat kar de|" Geeta- "Phir to behna, tujhe pati nahi, raashtrapati chahiye|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Mujhe afsos hai ki tum itne hate-kate Banta- "Meri patni to chahti hai ki mai *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Yuvti- "Tum itne mote-taaje hokar bheekh kyo maang rahe ho?" *-*-*-*-*-*- Seeta- "Ms Sarla ke hontho par baar-baar makkhi baith rahi thi| Geeta- "Bekaar tang ho rahi ho| Makkhi apni aadat Geeta- "Iski harkat se pata chalta hai ki yah nar makkhi hai|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Kal meri patni ki aankh me tinka pad mai doctor ke paas le *-*-*-*-*-*- Doctor- "Tumhare dil ki dhadkan ki gati dhimi Mareej- "Haan doctor saahab! Meri shaadi huye ek saal jo ho chuka hai|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Nurse prasannata se- "Badhai ho| Aapko judwa Stree ghabra gayi- "Haay! Mai pati ko doosre bache ke baare me kya jawaab doongi?" *-*-*-*-*-*- Bacha- "Pitaji swarg me shaadiya kyo nahi hoti?" Pita- "Beta, shaadiya ho to phir vah swarg hi na rahega|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Ek paagalkhaane me ek darshak ko guide ne bataya- "Yah jo aapko saamne paagal dikh raha hai na, uski yah dasha isliye hui ki ise us ladki ne thukra diya tha, jisse yah pyaar karta tha|" Ek dusre paagal ke saamne jaakar vah bola- "Aur iski yah dasha isliye hui ki isne us ladki se shaadi *-*-*-*-*-*- Premi- "Mere pitaji ne to tairne ka record tod diya hai| Poore tees varsh baad laute hai|" Premika- "Par darling! Tumhare pita mere pita ka Premika- "Ve paitees saal pehle tairne gaye the aur *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati daftar jaane ki taiyari me hai| Patni bhojan Pati- "Aji, mai kehta hoon ki khaana kab taiyaar hoga?" Patni- "Do ghante se kah rahi hoon ki das minute me *-*-*-*-*-*- Dukandaar- "Yah label to keedo ko dhokha dene ke *-*-*-*-*-*- Doctor- "Ab mai tumhe kal dekhoonga|" Mareej- "Aap to mujhe kal dekhenge, par mai bhi aapko kal dekh sakoonga ya nahi?" *-*-*-*-*-*- Beti- "Yah to aapki heel waale sandilo ka kamaal hai|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Dukandaar ne uttar likha- "Pehle cheque bhej de, theek hua to ghee bhej doonga|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Patni- "Suno ji, akhbaar me khabar hai ki ek vyakti ne cycle ke badle me apni patni ko bech diya|" Pati- "Mai us jaisa moorkh nahi hoon, car se kam *-*-*-*-*-*- Ek bahut moti mahila ke saath-saath chala aa raha bacha pul dekhkar achanak ruk gaya| Mahila ne pyaar se poocha- "Beta tum ruk kyo gaye?" *-*-*-*-*-*- Putra- "Pitaji, mai aapko apni baaraat me nahi le jaaunga|" Putra- "Kyoki aap bhi mujhe apni baaraat me nahi le gae the|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Agar aap mera karja chuka de to aapka Banta- "Lekin aaj aap galat waqt par aaye hai|" Banta- "Jab mai ghar par na hou tab|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Ummeedvar- "Samachar samaapt huye|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Pati dukh se- "Bechari Reena|" Patni- "Magar end waqt par uske pati ne aakar use bacha liya|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Ek mahaashay- "Are! Yah kya? Is tasveer me to mai apni umra se das saal bada dikh raha hoon|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Premi- "Darling, jab mai tumhe dekhta hoon to mera dil dhadakne lagta hai, mai apne hoshohavas kho baithta hoon, gala sookh jaata hai|" Premika- "Tum pyaar ka ijhaar kar rahe ho ya apni *-*-*-*-*-*- Do naali ke keede khaate samay aapas me baate kar rahe the| Ek keeda- "Tumne suna hai, vah saamne vaala hotel kitna saaf hai| Har vastu sheeshe ki tarah chamakti hai|" Doosra keeda- "Bas karo yaar, kam-se-kam khaana khaate samay to aisi ghinauni baate mat kiya karo|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Banta- "Aap uski harkato par dhyaan mat deejiye| Vo pagal hai|" Santa- "To phir apne ghar ke sheeshe kyo nahi todta?" Banta- "Lekin itna pagal bhi nahi hai|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Adhyapak- "Nadi me nahaate samay muh kis disha Shyaam- "Sir, kinaare par rakhe kapdo ki disha me|" *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*- Ghode se girte hi uske savaar ke muh se aawaaj nikli- "He bhagwaan! Ye toone kya kiya?" Raahgeer- "Kitna bhola hai bechara| Chot ke liye bhagwaan se shikaayat kar raha hai, ghode se nahi|" *-*-*-*-*-*- Santa- "Yaar, mai Santa- "Bhala kitna kharch ho jaayega?" Banta- "Ek paisa bhi nahi, bhala sochne me *-*-*-*-*-*- Raamu- "Mai school nahi jaaunga|" Maa- "Kyo beta? Kya padhai me mann nahi lagta?" Raamu- "Nahi maa, yah baat nahi| Master saahab ko khud to kuch aata-jaata nahi, har sawaal ka uttar *-*-*-*-*-*- Ek mareej kaafi der tak dawakhaane me doctor ki prateeksha karta raha| aant me usne ek chitthi likh di- "Mai apni swaabhaavik maut marne ke liye wapas *-*-*-*-*-*-
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